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Ep107 Safety Squeeze

21:22 11/13/13 Season 1 TV-PG D, L

When The Cannon offers a cold beer to one of the Angles as an ice pack in front of the regional safety supervisor, he gets he and Dick (as league president) tossed into a safety seminar. The Cannon is a little slow to give a crap about it, but he proves quite adept at torturing Dick throughout.

Dudley’s dad didn’t pick him up. It’s happened before. Terry brings him home for dinner until they can get in touch with his divorced parents, who are currently fighting a lot. Terry lets him spend the night, and pretty soon, he's always at the house. Danny quickly tires of Dudley's persistent gas, and The Cannon tires of him because, well, he's The Cannon. But Terry is determined to take care of him.

Memorable Quotes:

The Cannon: He’s not dead. That head’s 10% brain and 90%... something else.

Terry: You’re gonna be OK, Dong. It’s not half as bad as last time. Or the time before. Or the time you ate the rosin bag.

Dick: She’s the coach, so she should have to go to the safety seminar too.
Terry: I went.
Dick: Oh, you did, short-shorts? Then why are your kids still getting hit in the face with balls?

Terry: You need to know, buddy, your parents’ divorce is not your fault.
Dudley: Actually, I may have mistakenly told my mom that my dad was having an affair.
Terry: Okay. But you didn’t make him cheat.
Dudley: I showed her pictures.
Terry: Seriously? Okay, you gotta give me something to hang this on, Dudley.

Terry: You say one negative thing about Dudley and so help me I will make a cologne-flavored popsicle out of you with that baseball bat.

Umpire: You’re out!
Dudley: But I wanted to be safe!

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