The Ryan Report -- Episode 305 "Anatomy of a Murder"
Ryan's Bio | Read the episode recap
I’m sure this is a surprise to absolutely no one, but I’m a total romantic. Can’t help it, I swear. There’ve been many times in my life where I’ve tried not to be. Times when it probably would have been better to be cynical, to be tough, to not fall so hard so quickly.... but it’s easier said than done.The truth is, I’ll do anything for love.
I guess I’ve been like this since I first fell for a girl, all the way back in kindergarten. I met her one recess and that was that.I’d constantly sneak out of my class just to go into her classroom next door – didn’t matter how many red frown faces I got or how low they moved my clip on the “good behavior ranking.” I was in love, or whatever it is you can be in kindergarten. At the time, it felt like some sort of weird magnetic pull compelling me to be in her presence, almost like an unseen force had dictated terms and I had no choice in the matter.
Things just got worse from that point on.There was the long distance relationship in junior year with Sarah, the girl from summer camp who lived across the country, and the two planes, one train, and broken-down gypsy cab I took to meet up with her for Valentine’s day.
For my prom date, I drove out and hiked to the top of a nearby mountain to gather flowers for her corsage… which ended up in the trash after they didn’t perfectly match her dress.Then there was the college girlfriend who convinced me to go streaking across campus one Saturday night – well, she convinced me that we’d both do it, but when I started my nude dash across, she was nowhere to be found.That wasn’t even the really embarrassing part. That was trying to find a way back into my dorm room, since I’d left my keys with her, was one of the longest walks I’ve ever taken.
Anyhow, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. If I told you all the really crazy things I’ve done, I’d need a couple more pages (and a non-disclosure agreement from everyone who reads it). In my defense all I can say is that when I’m in the grip of love, all these things don’t seem so insane. They seem like fun, like the normal things one should expect do for love. Or sometimes, they even seem noble and romantic. Maybe not the streaking part… but you get the idea. Of course, now that I’ve written a few of them down, they seem more like evidence that should have gotten me committed to an asylum.
Nowadays, I save all my acts of lunacy for the job. As some of my friends and family point out, it takes a certain kind of crazy to strap on a gun and a badge and track down killers. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world.That weird magnetic pull, that feeling like unseen force dictated terms? That’s how I feel about being a cop. And just like the things I do for love, it’s something I have a hard time explaining to other people, such as the aforementioned friends and family.
But I’ve never had to explain any of that to Jenny. She just got from the beginning that I do the job I do because I love it. And that’s how I knew she was the right one. See, when one lunatic meets another, they just understand why we do the things we do. That’s my idea of romance, I guess.And luckily, it’s hers too.