The Ryan Report -- 411 “Til Death Do Us Part”
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Jenny and I are not rushing to have kids any time soon, but I am looking forward to that day, because people say it is the happiest day of your life, and I cannot wait to see what it feels like to be even happier than I was earlier this week when I got married to the woman of my dreams. My jaw still hurts from smiling, and I don’t think that pain is going away anytime soon cause I just can’t seem to get this stupid grin off of my face.
But, and allow me to qualify this for a moment – there was a fraction of a hair of a split second where I felt something other than pure unadulterated elation. That’s not to say I wasn’t happy, it’s just that if my happiness was at a 100, there was just the tinniest of moments where I dipped down to 99.9999, before immediately returning back to 110. That’s right, I was even happier after. So basically, Jenny, you can’t get mad at me for this story.
See at the reception I was swarmed by the full gamut of well-wishing – from “Congratulations” and “I’m so happy for you” from relatives to “I give it a week before she comes to her senses” from Javi (he was joking by the way). Then amidst all of this, one of my uncles grabbed me by both shoulders, shook me and said, “So, do you feel different?”
I was taken aback. Again, just for the tinniest second, Sweety, don’t get mad. I was taken aback because I didn’t feel different. Sure, like I said, I was happier than I knew I could be, but that’s not the same as feeling different. I felt the same about Jenny and me as I had half an hour earlier. I guess because there is all this planning and stress that leads up to this one day, and then even before that people all your life talk about how one day you’ll get married, so it seemed like once it finally happened I should emerge on the other side feeling differently, but I didn’t. For a second, I thought maybe something was wrong, but I quickly realized that not feeling different meant I was doing something right.
I’ve heard people say that getting married gave them a sense of security, or made them feel like they had a partner, or it showed them that they were really loved. But the thing is, I already knew all of that. I knew Jenny would stick by me, through thick and thin, not because some piece of paper told her she had to, but because we’ve already been through thick and thin, and we came out the other side all the better. We made a promise to love one another long before our Save-The-Dates went out and now we were just sharing that with the other people we care about.
So, no, I don’t feel different. And I couldn’t be happier about that. I have found someone I don’t just want to spend the rest of my life with, but who I need to spend the rest of my life with. I couldn’t live without her. I am cheesy enough to say I could never love her more than I do now, but I am not naïve enough to think it. I know that as time goes by, our feelings for one another will evolve and I can’t wait to see what that feels like. All I’m saying is it’s silly to think that one event, no matter how momentous, could make me feel differently, not when those feelings are this deep.
Although there was a moment when Jenny shoved a whole piece of cake in her mouth that kind of grossed me out… but I’m still totally at 110.