Household Manual for Dee Snider's family.
Wondering how Dee's family operates? Take a look at his wife's household manual below to find out.
WELCOME TO OUR HOME
Prepare to leave your assumptions and preconceived notions
about the rock 'n' roll lifestyle at the door. My family is a
prime example of the saying "Don't judge a book by its
cover." While we're certainly no shrinking violets, and we
definitely "wanna rock," the Sniders are the definition of
family values. I hope you have a good sense of humor,
because this is a funny, irreverent family and we love to
laugh. Your life is definitely going to get a little "twisted."
My family consists of, Dee and I, our three sons and a
daughter, but we can't leave out our daughter in law, and two
year old grand daughter. That's right, we're grandparents.
Jesse Blaze has a family of his own and lives just minutes
away. He, his wife Patty (who has another "bun in the oven")
and their daughter Logan Lane are always dropping by.
Jesse is a rocker, comic book writer. Shane is a young
comedian, actor and comedy writer. Cody Blue is a award
winning, indie film maker and Cheyenne (almost 15) sings in
a hardcore metal band and is as heavy--or heavier--than her
father ever was.
I know you're thinking it--yes, all four children are mine.
Dee and I have been married for 30 years and together for
35. Not an easy accomplishment in the crazy world of
entertainment. We met when I was 15 (he was 21) and I
went to a club to see the new girl group "Twisted Sister."
They turned out not to be woman, there was nobody there to
see them and I made the mistake of going to the front of the
stage and smiling at Dee--he was wearing hot pants and
stockings! Dee took that as a "go sign" and stalked me (his
words, not mine) until I fell in love with him and, I'm happy
to say, I never looked back. I've been making costumes for
Twisted Sister ever since. Dee's a great, thoughtful, loving
husband, and the father I always dreamed my kids would
While Dee is known for his aggressive performing style and
over the top, in your face persona, our home is "my stage"
and I run the show. I am a professional makeup artist,
costume designer and stylist (I've been Twisted Sister's
costume designer and stylist since I was 16) and I bring
these talents--and more--to every aspect of our home life. I'm
a hands-on kind of person, who likes things done just right.
Sure we have plenty of hired help, and Dee tackles what he
can, but nobody does things quite the way I like them done.
There is nothing I like less then to wait for something to be
done right, so if the deck needs power washing or there's a
leaky faucet that needs tightening, I'll try to take care of it
myself. Case in point: I single handedly designed, painted,
wallpapered and did the window treatments for every inch of
our 6,000 square foot home. Having put so much into getting
our home just the way I like it, I'm all about keeping the
house clean--except for the kids rooms. I believe their rooms
are their responsibilities. There are times Cody and
Cheyenne's rooms look like a bomb went off in them!
These days Dee wears a lot of creative hats and I hold down
the fort so he can do his thing, but family comes first to both
of us is being the best parents we can be. While our kids have
been raised to be outspoken, individuals, who are strong
willed and think for themselves, the most important traits
we instill in them is to be good people, respectful and polite.
We know from personal experience how far those two things
alone can take you in this world.
When I decided to have children, I didn't want our kids being
raised by somebody else. I gave up my aspirations to be a
business professional and made my children my career. I use
all of my talents to help them be the best they can be. I'm
always there to do for them, from little things around the
house to big things like doing hair, makeup, wardrobe and
whatever else needs to be done on all of their different
creative projects. Dee says they don't really appreciate it,
but I do it for me, not them.
When it comes to parenting, my husband and I definitely
believe in "choosing our battles". There are so many really
important things to worry about in the world, we don't waste
our time on little things, especially if they're just outward
forms of expression. Would you rather your child have pink
hair...or do drugs. The choice is obvious. We believe if you
don't give your kids a way to express themselves...they will
find a way to do it.
When it comes to disciplining our children, we try to let the
punishment fit the crime. If they repeatedly take something
without asking, we take away something of theirs without
asking. If they continuously leave something laying around
without putting it away, we take it away for awhile. When all
else fails, my fall back is to take away their cell phone or
computer. In this day and age, that's worst than grounding
them. The only one who really gets punished anymore is
Cheyenne; the boys are just too old. That said, as long as
they are living under my roof....
I can promise you two things this week: you won't get bored
and life in the Snider household will be a hell of a lot different
than what you are used to. So prepare to "let your hair
down" and hang onto your sense of humor; you're gonna
Dee (56) Suzette (50), Jess (28), Shane (23), Cody (21),
In his world, Dee is clearly in charge; but, when he is at
home, it's a different story. I don't cater to my husband like
he is a celebrity; he is a big boy and can do for himself. He
may be larger than life on stage, but at home you will find
him to be quiet and down to earth. Since Dee is so busy, he
can be disconnected from the day to day running of the
household. He knows and respects that this is my world and
is more than happy to play by my rules. As a result, I take
care of everything in the house, from the cooking and
cleaning to the manual labor. I am constantly working on
some kind of household project, from small repairs like
spackling a hole in a wall to major remodeling projects, like
building a 20 foot fireplace mantel. I'm not one to sit back
and let others wait on me.
Our children are our world; nothing is more important to us
than their happiness and well-being ...possibly to a fault.
Jesse Blaze is our oldest and has his own family now. I'm
proud to say, he is a great husband and father, and an
attentive, loving son and brother. He puts family above all
else and is incredibly supportive of what we all do--as we all
are of what he does. Jesse has strong opinions and is not
afraid to express them or confront people with them if the
need arises. I have spoiled him a bit with my cooking,
mothering and styling--but that's okay--he'll always be my
Shane is our second oldest and the most stubbornly
independent child we have. Since he was born, he has
always been the one I could depend on to be responsible and
take care of things for me. Comedy is his life and he loves to
laugh and make people laugh, but Shane has got a sharp wit
and a sarcastic tongue, so whatever you do, don't screw up
around him. Oh--and heads up. He play his drums. A lot.
Cody Blue is the youngest of the Snider boys, and possibly
the wisest. This said, his ADD personality can make him, at
times wildly unpredictable. Between his film making, video
shoots, Jiu Jitsu bouts, basketball games, hanging with his
girlfriend and late nights around the fire pit with "The
Ocho" (his crew), Cody always has something going on...that
needs looking after and needs a mother's support and love.
Cheyenne is the baby daughter I always wanted--but not
quite. At almost 15 years old, she thinks she knows it all
(what 15 year old doesn't) and lives up to her "cowgirl"
name. Growing up with three older brothers has made her
tough, smart, sharp, funny and really sarcastic. Careful you
don't get cut on her sharp tongue. The soul focus of
Cheyenne's life is her music and her band. They rehearse at
our house and their heavy sound puts her father's to shame.
Hardcore metal does take some getting used to...so good luck.
I should probably mention Logan Lane, our two year old
grand daughter. I am the classic Italian grandmother who
always tries to be available to take care of "my little angel"
whenever I'm needed...and than some. I spoil her with her
favorite food, snacks, toys, love and by constantly
entertaining her. Be ready to jump on the trampoline and go
down the slide on the play set. Dee calls me "Mozo the
Clown" because I drop everything to show my adorable
grand daughter a good time. Partly because it is my nature,
and partly because I am experiencing a bit of an empty nest
syndrome with all my babies growing up.
COOKING and EATING HABITS
The heart of our/my world is the kitchen. It's where
everyone gathers and most things involving the family
happen. Dee and I insist on everyone who is home having
dinner together each night. We think it's an important part
of family unity and staying in touch with each another. This
said, the time we eat depends on everyone's availability.
Each night I make two, different, healthy, balanced meals;
one low-fat for Dee and I (usually a light, pasta dish), and one
for the kids. I feel kids should enjoy the foods they like and
not suffer because we eat low fat. You will find my sure-toplease
the kids "Brown Sugar Chicken" recipe at the end of
Prepare yourself for some wild dinner conversations. Meal
time is when we have the most laughs and the most
arguments...all sometimes "R" rated. As long as our children
are respectful of each other, we encourage them to speak
CLEANING and HOUSE MAINTENANCE
I like a clean house and want everything to be in its place,
but even with a housekeeper who helps out, sometimes it's
hard to keep things just the way I want them when I'm
focused on other things. While the kids don't really have
"official" chores (they do have to set and clean the table off
each night, and they are supposed to clean their rooms), I do
expect them to pick up after themselves. Good luck with
Even though Dee is "Star Boy," in our house he's just another
member of the family. His business workload limits his
contributions, but he still manages to help out quite a bit.
As far as the kid's rooms go, while I would like them to be
clean like the rest of the house, this is their world and if they
want to live like complete slobs, they can. I try not to even
glance in Cheyenne's room or open her closet, because it
makes me nuts.
While the kids don't have official jobs in the house, on the
occasion I do ask them to do something I EXPECT IT TO BE
DONE or else there will be consequences...especially if they
give me crap. I might take away Cheyenne's computer or tell
Cody and Shane they can't have any friends over the house.
That usually gets their attention.
There are two sayings that define my belief system when it
comes to style: "It's better to look good than to feel good."
and "Beauty is pain." How you look does not ultimately
define who you are, but it does send a message of how you
want to be perceived, and I want to help everyone in my
house to send their message the best they can.
While Dee is known for looking outrageous when he
performs, at home and on the street he is "the man in
black" (that's how he got his nickname "Demon")--you will
never see him wear anything but...and that's how I like him.
When it comes to my personal style, to quote Dee, "Suzette
still puts a smile on my face." This said, there are still times I
shock Dee with what I wear. I believe a woman should be her
husbands wife...and his mistress. I live up to those words.
Each of our kids have their own style, even if I don't agree
with it. They are all fussy about what they wear...even our
resident "dumpster" Shane's "dressing down" has to be just
right. That's okay, but I've got to admit, I'm a little
disappointed with Cheyenne. I dreamed of having a
daughter that I could dress and makeup. At a very young
age Chey made it clear that she's not interested in how I
want her to look or my sense of style. Bummer! It's all I can
do to fight the tide and keep her from getting more and more
piercings and tattoos.
The one place where the kids welcome my input is on their
many projects. Whether it's a film, video, a photo shoot...or
even a school project, being a stylist and costumer, all of my
kids depend on me to help them out...I couldn't be happier.
It's practically become a full time job for me; there's always
something going on.
Dee and I feel dress and style is one of those "choose your
battles" areas of parenting. There are more important issues
to focus on than their hair and clothes, and a child with
definite thoughts on how they want to present themselves, is
a child with a strong self-image...especially if they are not
going along with the trends. Clothes and hair are an
opportunity for kids to explore their individuality, so we say,
as long as your choices aren't hurting anybody, do your
DAILY ROUTINE - MORNING
The Snider family absolutely does not have anything close to
"a routine, daily schedule." It is constantly changing. Since
Dee and I go to bed anywhere from midnight to 2 AM, we get
up when we've slept enough. Usually we're up around 8 or 9
o'clock and we ease into our day, drinking our morning coffee
(a must for us both), talking about the schedule for that day
and watching a little television before our crazy day starts.
Since it's summer and school is out, our kids pretty much go
to bed and get up when they please...within reason. Cody's
usually up by 10 or 10:30, Cheyenne by 11 or 12 and Shane
our true vampire, goes to bed when the sun rises and isn't
usually out of bed until after 2pm. I'm not a morning person
myself, so the last thing I'm going to be is a drill sergeant
blowing a bugle and waking them up early. Besides, I like
my quiet time in the morning.
DAILY ROUTINE - LATE MORNING
From about 10 - Noon, Dee and I putter around the house and
get in our daily workout. Dee likes to jog and go to the gym;
I'm a P90X user. We have always embraced a healthy
My morning "puttering" and working out, rolls right into
addressing whatever exterior house issues need to be
addressed. The harsh winter did a number on things outside
this year. I'm currently doing a lot of caulking, power
washing, detail work in the yard and giving our family
Cockerpoo "Chase" a bad ass mohawk hairdo (this is a bigger
deal than you would think). He needs a little bit of hot pink
on top of his head, so I'll leave you my dye kit.
DAILY ROUTINE - WORK SCHEDULE
Working as a stylist and makeup artist for my entire family
has become a full time job. They all have various creative
projects going on and want my help. This week, Jesse has a
photo shoot for his new single "When You Love Someone,"
and Cody is preparing to shoot a rock video for a band called
"Motionless In White." They will be stopping by to check out
a special makeup effect for the video, so you will need to help
Cody show it to them. I will leave you my recipe for blood.
Dee always has a lot of different things going on. Right now
he is writing his memoirs and recording a new album called
"Dee Does Broadway." He'll also be taping a special
"webisode" for his weekly, nationally syndicated radio show,
"The House of Hair." He is going to need your help choosing
his clothes and dealing with his guest.
DAILY ROUTINE - NIGHTTIME
The Snider house is all of our children's friend's favorite
place to hang out, for reasons that are probably obvious.
Pretty much every night, there's a small crowd hanging in
the backyard (usually Cody's crew "The Ocho"), playing
video games or just listening to music and watching TV. Our
kids and their friends are respectful, trustworthy and
usually well behaved...though we still keep an open eye and
ear, just in case.
DISCIPLINE and RULES
Being the best person you can be and respect, respect,
respect; they are the cornerstone of our parenting and the
one thing we expect above all else from our children and
others. That and manners. Beyond that, pretty much
anything goes. Like I said, our kids are outspoken and more
than ready for a debate or argument. Don't be surprised if
you hear the occasional four letter word fly. Though we don't
encourage it and try to discourage it (I myself am going
through "rubber band snapping curse therapy"), it's tough to
control 20-something year old men. Cheyenne on the other
hand is never allowed to curse...but somehow she manages to
find other 'non curses' that are equally as offensive.
Dee is usually the strict one and I'm a lot looser and more
fun. That said, I do expect the kids to clean up after
themselves, but they definitely have selective hearing (an art
they have perfected and share their techniques with each
other). Since I ask so little of them, nothing upsets me more
than having my requests being ignored, and that's when I
lose my temper and punishments are usually dealt out. For
the boys its usually banning their use of whatever it is they
haven't been picking up from and Cheyenne the use of her
computer and phone.
The most important and surprising thing you will learn
about us is how traditional we are when it comes to family
values. Many people are shocked to find out that Dee and I
have never had a drink or done a drug in our lives!
As far as my "look" goes, Dee used to call me "a sheep in
wolf's clothing." I am anything but the groupie some people
think I must have been. Dee and I have been together for 35
years and he is the only man I have ever been with. In fact,
we are one of the most straight-laced couples you will ever
find. That aside, we are very liberal in raising our kids and
we don't expect them to as disciplined as we are, though they
do tend to follow in our footsteps.
I can honestly say, Dee and I are more in love today than
we've ever been. We are best friends and our different
personalities really complement and balance each other. We
realize a healthy relationship is important, so we work at it
and try to have a "date night" at least once a week. Dee and I
really enjoy the occasional "bike night." It's great to just hop
on our motorcycles and cruise down to one of the local hangs
and grab a bite with our friends.
QUICK CHECKLIST OF THE REALLY IMPORTANT THINGS
- Finishing the deck project is a "MUST DO" while you are
here. Power washing and caulking are the final things
that need to be done.
- Jesse has a photo shoot for his new single this week and
you will need to do his hair. Making a mohawk stand up
straight isn't an easy thing and Jesse is very meticulous
when it comes to his look, so good luck! Justin Bieber
he is not!
- Cody is working on preproduction for the Emotionless
In White music video and has brought me in to do
special makeup effects. This is a very important project
to him, so take this job seriously. Expect to be a little
- Don't forget to finish dying our dog Chase's hair.
- With his book on deadline, and recording a new album,
Dee's workload is particularly hectic. Like with my
kids, I do what I can to help out. You will need to assist
him with the webcast for his radio show, "The House of
Hair" by booking a guest and making sure he looks good
for the filming.
- As always, Cheyenne's band "They All Float" will be
rehearsing. Not much you have to do there but "hold
- Every week we have a big family dinner. You will need
to prepare two separate meals. Make a healthy pasta for
Dee and my famous "Brown Sugar Chicken" for the kids
and Jesse's family. You'll find all the recipes at the end
of this manual.
- Make time for "Bike Night" with Dee. It's our date night
and, if you have a motorcycle license, you can use my
bike and ride.