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"You know, she has wanted to get her hooks into Mike for years. Every time she would have us over for a barbecue, she always wore something booby." - Susan Delfino
"We both know that Mike didn't do this." - Susan Delfino
"We're not poor. We're just lower middle class." - Susan Delfino
"You know, Dick, sometimes when I meet people, they say you don't seem like a Susan. But you..." - Susan Delfino
"Feels bad, huh, being betrayed by someone you trusted." - Susan Delfino
"We can't do this. We're not criminals. We drive carpool!" - Susan Delfino
"You're right. You're a guest in my home. A completely nude guest in my home. I should leave." - Susan Delfino
"Oh my God, I sent her over there, it's like a meeting of the 'I hate Susan club.'" - Susan Delfino
"What kind of monster would do this?" - Susan Delfino
"Bree's kept me company all day. Is she a saint or what?" - Susan Delfino
"Just so you know, you're not pregnant. I could tell your boyfriend that you're better. Unless you think he strangled you because he's married." - Susan Delfino
"You know what an affair like this can do. You saw it firsthand." - Susan Delfino
"Bree had sex three times last night." - Susan Delfino
"Rule number one of the female code: Never sleep with your friend's ex-husband." - Susan Delfino
"Tom is my doctor, Jerry's his nurse and when I'm late, they really go at each other" - Susan Delfino
"Mike, you haven't met my aunt. She taught me how to make a Manhattan when I was eight." - Susan Delfino
"It was club soda! Amniotic fluid doesn't have ice cubes and a lemon wedge." - Susan Delfino
"What if Mike sees me splayed across that billboard? He's gonna recognize those panties. He gave them to me for our anniversary." - Susan Delfino
"A beautiful woman who still wants you is living a hundred yards away. And her breast are 95 yards away. Why do you want that temptation?" - Susan Delfino
"That's life. Sometimes you can be a good person and life still won't give you your dinosaur back." - Susan Delfino
"Yeah, I resent you. You blew it. Thanks to you, I have to leave the home where I raised my children." - Susan Delfino
"I'm sorry I'm not handling accessory to murder as well as the rest of you." - Susan Delfino
"Katherine turns you on and sex with me is a chore." - Susan Delfino
"Yesterday the doctor's secretary handed me this free parking pass with this sad look. It was like, yeah, you're doomed but your parking's free." - Susan Delfino
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