You know that mysterious plan Paul Young has been talking about ever since he got out of prison? Well, it’s a mystery no more. He’s opening up a halfway house for felons smack dab in the middle of Wisteria Lane. There goes the neighborhood! How many times have we said that about this place?

Susan gets an eyeful of flesh when she accidentally walks in on Lynette and Tom during a naked situation. Okay, they were having sex. Susan is curious as to why Lynette never mentioned her hubby’s most impressive physical attribute before. She dubs him Tommy Tripod. Figure it out.

"I haven't celebrated my birthday since the third time I turned 28."

Tom also wonders why Lynette doesn’t brag about what he brings to the table in the bedroom. Not that he actually puts it on the table. Think of all the Lemon Pledge they’d go through. Anyway, Lynette does finally enlighten everyone about her husband’s sizeable contribution to their sex life during a neighborhood meeting to discuss the halfway house situation. Needless to say, the meeting is quickly adjourned.

Tommy Tripod (yeah, we’re gonna latch on to that one) doesn’t get why it’s so difficult for Lynette to praise him. Well, it’s probably because everyone else does it for her. Lynette says, “For almost 20 years, all I’ve heard is how incredibly lucky I am to have a guy like you. So, if I don’t constantly brag about how great you are, it’s only because I don’t want to be reminded of how much I don’t deserve you.” Tom assures her that he’s actually the lucky one.

• Page 1 of 3
• First
• «Prev
• Next»
• Last