Breaking News: Derek Shepherd has just received a big-time grant to go out and cure Alzheimer’s. Woo hoo!
A few of our favorite docs are working the night shift while most of their bosses are at the bar celebrating Derek’s big news. First round is on Bailey and will be served by Cristina. Why? Well, it seems she gave up her medical career to tend bar at Joe’s. We’re just wondering if changing a keg is anything like clamping an artery.
Teddy’s foray into online dating is a short-lived one, so she’s up for some serious drinking. Callie is still bumming about Arizona so Mark suggests she enjoy a little “sexual pallet cleanser” with the redhead across the bar. It doesn’t pan out. Bailey’s downing shots because she’s still upset over losing a healthy patient for no logical reason.
Those who are too drunk to drive need to find a place to sleep off their buzz. Fortunately, their home away from home is right across the way. But drunk new roomies Mark and Callie make their way to their actual residence where they engage in some of the “sexual pallet cleansing” that was mentioned at the bar. Actually, a better name for it is sexual sorbet. But Callie doesn’t look like her meal agreed with her come morning.
Meredith treats Drew, a nine-year-old boy who is having post-surgery complications. Drew’s mom is a nurse at another hospital, so she has strong opinions on how to treat her son. An annoyed Dr. Stark says the kid has gas and leaves to enjoy some tiramisu at a fancy trattoria. Drew’s condition worsens and his frustrated mom ends up calling the Chief, who is extremely irate when he kicks things into high gear.
Drew has a perforated ulcer and needs surgery. Dr. Stark isn’t answering his pages. Must be really good tiramisu. Alex convinces Meredith to operate even though Stark is still MIA. Drew pulls through with flying colors. Everyone is happy except, of course, Dr. Stark, who promises to makes things truly miserable for Meredith and Alex in the future. We’re not too worried. These two have proven time and time again they can take anything that’s thrown their way.
Two teen brothers are involved in a car versus train accident. As you may have guessed, the train won and the younger kid is too far gone to save. Jackson asks Owen if he can stay and work on the surviving brother, so it’s up to Lexie to break the news to the parents that one of their sons is dead. Back in the OR, it looks like Jackson may be hanging on too tight, but he comes through in the clutch when a complication arises.
Lexie hears Jackson screaming when he has nightmares back at the house. The guy seems to be on edge. Lexie realizes that the case with the brothers has struck a nerve because Jackson feels guilty that he lived and his friend didn’t. Jackson talks about it without actually talking about when he advises Lexie on what to say to his patient’s parents.
April deals with two teens in love who super-glued their arms and hands to each other. Finally, a solid way couples can stay together forever. April seeks help from a Bailey, who is in no condition to dispense medical advice. She does however offer the ever-virginal April a relationship tip. Bailey says, “Alex Karev is not the boy you want to take your maiden voyage with.” She may be drunk, but she’s also very wise. She even figures out a way to separate the super glue kids.
It’s last call at the bar and a completely hammered Cristina is busy giving lap dances to members of a bachelor party. Yes, she’s a bartender who will go the extra mile for her customers. Derek has been keeping an eye on her until Owen arrives to take her home. Did anyone else notice that Cristina forgot to clock out? We’re guessing that’s because her career as a barkeep is just as short-lived as Teddy’s Internet dating adventure. Her hangover, however, should last a whole lot longer.