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Ep918 Idle Hands

03/21/13 Season 9 TV-14 D, L

There's a new hospital logo on the floor, as well as on the sliding coffee sleeves. According to Richard, the latter has excellent thermal retention. The ER is open again, there's a new charting system and everyone, especially Owen, is jazzed to use the hospital's new toy. Okay, it's not really a toy. It's a state-of-art machine that does a full body x-ray in 13 seconds. Grey + Sloan Memorial Hospital is officially open for business. All they need now is juicy trauma to try out their new toy… er… uh… x-ray machine.

April considers breaking up with her boyfriend because he's never been to the carnival. It's metaphor for having sex. In other news, Owen resigns himself to look for a marble Heather stuck up her nose when she was six-years-old. Thankfully, there's been a motorcycle crash. While it's bad news for the biker, it's good news for the docs. They get to use the new toy. It really does take only 13 seconds to diagnose all the patient's problems. Everyone is amazed. Some things are worth the wait. This is something April starts to realize.

Cristina is peeved when a high-functioning moron she used to know gets published in a medical journal. Her fury is put on hold when Dr. Russell asks her to assist on a super cool case. She's bummed to learn that the only reason she was brought onboard is so Russell could pitch her for money for his program. In other news, Bailey wants funding for a human genome mapping lab. Cristina gives it to her if only to tick off Russell and get more cases to work on.

Meredith's patient, Madeline, is a nice woman who has been teaching young kids for 28 years. All that looks like it may be coming to an end once cancer is discovered in her liver. She's terminal. Madeline doesn't have the heart to give her students the news when they come to visit. Eventually, the teacher does come clean to her pupils. She wants them all to help her figure out ways to help their new teacher adjust for the rest of the school year. It's a heartbreaking, courageous scene.

Arizona is wearing high heels! She looks sexy as she models them, but doesn't respond to Callie's attempt to show her just how hot she looks. Nevertheless, plans for intimacy are set up for later in the evening. Callie feels those plans will fall through. It would be par for the course. She finally gets Arizona to let her massage her aching leg. This leads to a second massage at home. This leads to Callie and Arizona finally being able to be intimate with each other.

Alex's young cancer patient has a crush on Jo. His doc can relate. Alex and his young cohort conspire for a series of pranks that has their competition, Chest Pecwell (aka Jason), answering bogus pages all over the hospital. They also get him to yell out things like "I'm here to see Jenny Tailia." Richard gets in on the action to help trick the mark into delivering a sample of his urine to Bailey. When Chest becomes savvy to what's happening, he lets Alex know that he'll take comfort in the fact that he'll be the one with Jo later.

A 16-year-old girl is brought in with severe head trauma. She was hit by a car while out on a bike ride with her father. The distraught dad takes out his frustrations on Shane, who channels his inner-Derek to try to calm the guy down. He fails miserably. Later, Derek has to physically pull the worried dad away from his frightened intern. The guy breaks down in his arms. Derek says it doesn't do any good to worry about the things they don't know yet. This is something he's been telling Meredith. The one thing they do know is their new baby is a boy.

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