Longtime architect Bill (Tim Allen’s Home Improvement co-star Richard Karn) stops by to drop off plans for some new Outdoor Man stores. He’s been working with the boys for years, and is clearly buddy-buddy with Mike. But Ed has brought in some competition: Alyssa Warren, who also happens to be quite attractive. Mike senses ulterior motives, but Ed says she’s a great architect with great ideas.
Vanessa’s boss died, and now she’s got the job. After watching Mike’s hesitation on the Alyssa, she’s concerned that her work doesn’t get the respect it deserves because she’s pretty. The other candidate who didn’t get the job is annoyed at Vanessa, but soon they band together.
Bill: It’s gonna be great working with you again, buddy! It has been way too long.
Mike: That last project we did seemed to last forever.
Bill: Say hi to the wife and the three boys!
Mike: It’s three girls.
Bill: Really? I seem to remember it was three boys.
Ed: I was just telling Alyssa about that time that I got the tiger in Siberia to eat sugar from my hand.
Mike: The sad part of that story is that Sugar was his Pomeranian.
Ed: It was the dog or me, Mike. Sugar died a hero.
Mike: She’s got floor plans? I bet you have plans to put her on your floor.
Vanessa: How come your funeral suit looks like the one you got married in?
Mike: Part of me died that day.
Vanessa: Part of you died that night too, but you did have a lot to drink.
At the Baxter house, Mandy dismisses Eve’s makeup routine, saying she’s a “plain bagel” that couldn’t look any prettier with “cream cheese.” So Eve hides all the makeup in the house, and Mandy has to go to school without it. She learns a valuable lesson. Not really, but she does make the point to Mike that she was treated differently based on her looks.
So Mike looks over all of the architect plans and makes a decision: He’s cutting his longtime buddy loose. Alyssa simply did a better job at a better price. Also, Bill kept perpetuating the crazy idea that Mike had three sons at home instead of three daughters. Where would he get such a silly thought?
Kristin: You know that rear-view mirror you use to put on your makeup? It also comes in handy for driving.
Mike: You look cute, just like you did when you were a baby. You always have.
Mandy: Cute? Next thing you’re gonna say I have a “nice personality.” (she slams the door)
Mike: No. I wasn’t gonna say that.
Vanessa: Why are you so mad at me?
Kathy: Because you got the job that I was more qualified for. But it’s OK, I still have my cats. How many cats do you have Vanessa? I bet you don’t have six.
Mike: How was the funeral?
Vanessa: They did it right. Closed casket, open bar.
Mandy: I learned something really important today. Life is beautiful. But it’s more beautiful when you’re beautiful.
- 8|7c Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets