So, big news, right? No more Kryle! That's my celeb couple name for Kristen and Kyle, BTW. But they broke up! That's crazy! I feel like it wasn't that long ago that he proposed to her. Was it? I honestly don't remember the details of people's love lives who 1) aren't me or 2) aren't famous. I wonder if Kristen could have used more of April's advice on boys. I don't think I ever saw Kristen try to hug Kyle while he was driving. Maybe she should have spent a little more time saying bad things about his female friends to make sure she looked better by comparison.
What if they had gotten married though? OMG, Kristen would be divorced with a kid right now. That is so grown up. I like watching Teen Mom, and I feel like Super-young and Divorced With a Kid would be pretty exciting too. That would be a crazy turn of events if Kristen became a reality TV star before I did. Wow, can you imagine a world that recognized Kristen as a TV star before me, her stylish, sassy and gorgeous sister? I can. It's pretty crappy. I don't even think they have cable.
Anyway, breakups are totes sad, but it's all water under the fridge now. And the only way for me to make myself feel better about relationships is to date the hot guy from Java Jimmy's WHO FINALLY NOTICED ME. On one hand, he's super sexy and I like that he's not desperate. On the other hand, I kinda feel like if you don't immediately just fall for me, you're probably broken. But like I said, he's hot, so it doesn't seem like that could be it. But I'll keep him on a short leash. He better not do anything weird like talk about a book that wasn't made into a movie starring Zac Efron or something within the first month of dates.