Wow, did Mandy actually teach me something? She may have had a point about me stealing the spotlight. Although now that I think about it... one of my daughters calling out one of my faults isn't exactly breaking news. But it's not that I steal the spotlight so much as the spotlight is naturally drawn to greatness (reality TV stars aside).
I mean, they made an action figure based on my likeness. Well, they tried to -- the "Back Door Man" debacle didn't exactly go as planned. But that's what we're dealing with here: a superhero-caliber guy. There's G.I. Joe, there's Bobblehead Ronald Reagan and there's me. So do I occasionally end up in the spotlight? Sure. Like with the auction... I didn't plan that, it just happened. And pretty darn well -- public speaking is just one of my gifts, like my stunning good looks and my uncanny ability to fire a nail gun accurately even while blindfolded.
As for buying the scoreboard, well... I had no choice. It's not fair that another parent would try to buy their way into the award that Vanessa deserved fair and square. I didn't want to get into an arms race with Gina Armstrong and her husband's landscaping business, but if they're going to launch sod torpedoes, they better be prepared for a return volley of scoreboard missiles. Vanessa works her tail off for that school, and I just wanted to see justice served.
And as always, I paid for my good deed with the yelling and the "Mike!" in that tone (you know the one). But superheroes learn to just brush it off. It's the burden we bear, Peyton Manning and I. We're just two of a kind. Cut from the same cloth. That's me and Peyton Manning, all right.