Luke: "Why are there giant lollipops all over the front yard? And why do they taste so bad?"
Alex: "Because they're cardboard, mouth-breather."
Phil: "Hey! The world needs more dreamers, Luke. Never stop licking things."
STORY 2: Princess Lily and Slim Cam
In a sleepy haze telling Lily a story at bedtime, Mitchell says that her real mother was a princess. Throughout Mitch and Cam's costume party, Lily tries to find her princess mom, while Cam tries to show off the pounds he's recently shed.
Mitchell: "Hey, Cam. I'm hearing rumor that you keep flashing our guests."
STORY 3: Aging Jay and Angry Gloria
When Jay can't smooth-talk his way out of a traffic ticket with a female officer, he begins to think he's losing his mojo with age. Meanwhile, Gloria is losing her temper with pregnancy.
Jay: "I'm no stranger to the police academy myself. I've seen all seven of them."
Police Officer: "Sir, no one's seen all seven."
Manny: "Lately you've been such a hothead."
Gloria: "I am not a hothead! I am Colombian! We get excited. My country is covered in coffee!"
Party Guest (wearing a baby carrier with a bag of sugar in it): "I love when people put some thought into their outfit. Illegal Alien? Sugar Daddy."
Gloria: "Why do you say illegal?"
Party Guest: "Because antennas are alien and..."
Gloria: "What? Illegal? Because of the color of my skin? Why don't I dump your baby in your gas tank?"
Expires in 26 days
Expires in 19 days