STORY 1: Phil and Claire See Their Future
Claire checks into the hospital to have an angiogram, where she and Phil catch a glimpse at three adult siblings who resemble their own kids. The sight of the dysfunctional, grown-up siblings (including guest star Justine Bateman) cause Phil and Claire to fear a future that could hold the same sad fate for Luke, Alex and Haley.
STORY 2: Lily Thinks She's Gay
Phil (on Claire's hospital visit): "If something were to happen, which it's not, I would turn our bedroom into a shrine to Claire."
Phil: "And this room into a hall of magic."
Claire (on Phil agreeing with the parenting decisions of her elderly hospital roommate): "He sounds like an old hippie."
Phil: "A wise, insightful, old hippie. A Jeff Bridges hippie."
Claire: "Haley, I love you. If you don't want to work in that store, I'll help you find something you like better!"
Haley: "Is this reverse psychiatry?"
Claire: "No, honey. Actually, nothing is."
Luke: "OK, everybody, calm down. Here's what we know: Mom had to go to the hospital for a simple procedure, then, mom and dad start calling us acting weird. Open your eyes, people. They've been kidnapped."
When Lily declares she's gay, Mitch and Cam discover that she identifies with her fathers and assumes that she must be gay, too. She's thinks her heritage is gay instead of Vietnamese, so Mitch, Cam and Gloria take her to a Vietnamese restaurant to expose her to some Asian culture.
Lily: "When am I going to get real boobs?"
Cameron (on knowing when you're gay): "I knew when I was five."
Mitchell: "Everybody knew when you were five."
Cameron: "Not true. Not everyone knew until I threw myself my second fifth birthday party."
Cameron: "This is a special soup called pho."
Lily: "You told me not to say that word."
____________________STORY 3: Manny Tours a Private School
Jay accompanies Manny on a tour of a prestigious private prep school, even though Jay has always felt slighted by academics.
"Let me tell you something about your prep school buddies. When I was younger, I had a job checking coats at a country club. These smug rich kids used to waltz in there and throw their coats at me like I was nothing. That was before your high-tech fabrics; they weighed a ton! See that scar?"Manny:
"The one you got in the war?"Jay:
"That's what I tell people. I caught the scalloped edge of a burberry duffle coat toggle. Still not sure there isn't a piece in there."Jay:
"Candy-ass preppies with too many privileges. You know what I hated most about those guys? They all had these little noses. What is that?"School Tour Guide:
"We'll now take a short break, where you're free to explore the treasures of our rare book library."Jay:
"You know what was a rare book in my school library? One that didn't have genitals drawn all over it."