Jay and Gloria are off to Vegas! They'll be leaving as soon as Gloria emails Claire that she can't work the bake sale next week. Jay offers to help her write the note. He types, "Dear Claire: I can't work on the bake sale because you're a bossy control freak that looks down on my cupcakes even though your lemon squares were very dry." The joke email is succinct, to the point and accidentally on its way to Claire's inbox. Oops!
Phil and Claire decide to celebrate their anniversary with some early-morning lovemaking. Haley, Alex and Luke decided to celebrate their mom and dad's big day by serving them breakfast in bed. WORLDS COLLIDE! The Dunphy kids catch their folks doing things you never ever want to think about when it comes to parents. Oops again!
Gloria is horrified about the email situation. She fears the worst when Phil says Claire won't talk on the phone. Gloria believes she's upset because of her scathing review of her leadership skills and lemon squares. In reality, Claire is busy trying to figure out how to do damage control with her kids.
Gloria can't possibly enjoy Vegas now, so she orders Jay to head over to the Dunphy house. The still-traumatized kids say their still-traumatized mom refuses to come out of her room. Claire believes that the way she and Phil respond to this crisis will be a defining moment for them as parents. Unlike her folks, she wants to talk about this situation with her confused children. Too bad they've all bolted out the door.
In what may be the greatest miscommunication-conversation of all time, Gloria tries to comfort Claire by saying the same thing once happened to her with another woman. She wants her to let go of her inhibitions and taste her cupcakes. Claire is confused and Phil's ready to pass out. When Gloria finally realizes the real reason Claire is upset, she beelines her way into the kitchen to delete her unread email from the laptop.
Gloria is caught trying to hack into Claire's email. Jay covers for his wife by saying she accidentally sent out a racy picture where you see everything, including her cupcakes! Phil's ready to faint again, but Claire deletes the email before her hubby reaches DEFCON 1. As far as the children are concerned, the only way they'll survive the inevitable chat with their parents is to nod and smile while thinking about something else. So, the adults speak their peace as the kids tune out everything they say. Win-win!
Mitchell and Cameron reluctantly frequent a total hole-in-the-wall joint called Shawarma City, as it's the only restaurant in walking distance. Then a swanky new place called Amelia's opens up just a few blocks away. It's extremely tough to get a reservation unless you know the owner, who just happens to be a mom at Lily's preschool. Time to make a new friend!
Single mom/busy restaurateur Amelia (guest start Rachael Harris) welcomes the guys into her luxurious home. Idle chitchat is expertly steered towards a conversation on what it would take to get a meal at Amelia's place. Their host is about to spill the secret as to how to head to the front of the guest list when... RING! Amelia gets a phone call. There's trouble at her restaurant.
Mitch and Cam overhear the phone conversation. Amelia is a cutthroat businesswoman who will squash anyone who crosses her. She's also a responsible mom, which is why she asks Mitchell and Cameron to watch her son, Jackson, while she deals with work. It's perfect. Now, she owes them big time. But when the guys realize one of their juice boxes has stained Amelia's $50,000 rug, they're afraid they'll owe her big time.
The stain is not coming out. The only thing to do is to be honest about what happened. Actually, there's another option: lie. Amelia freaks when the guys tell her Jackson was drinking the juice box when it spilled. Her son is allergic to strawberries. Mitch and Cam come clean moments before this panicked mom injects her kid with a huge medical syringe. It doesn't look like they'll be eating at Amelia's anytime soon. On the bright side, you never need reservations at Shawarma City!
Tale of Three Cities