STORY 1: Coach Cam and the Big Game
Cam will stop at nothing to coach the Dolphins to a winning football game, even though the opposing team's Coach Knight had just passed away. Manny, who's now on the team, is sympathetic and wants to lose on purpose. Meanwhile, Luke doing announcing duties for the game, Alex feels ignored by her classmates and Haley is reconnecting with Dylan.
Manny: "If you're at the store later could you pick up some ice? I'm gonna need it for after the game."
Jay: "My little athlete..."
Manny: "I want to try out the gelato maker I traded my bike for."
Jay: "...lures me in every time."
Cameron: "Tragic news about Coach Knight... But you know what? We need to focus up! Plenty of time to pay our respects, but there will be no mourning Knight this afternoon!
Haley: "You're like that guy from that movie who wishes he was never born."
Alex: "It's a Wonderful Life."
Haley: "You say that, but do you mean it?"
Dylan: "I've gotta meet up with some classmates from nursing school."
Haley: "You're gonna be a nurse?"
Dylan: "Yeah. Yeah, I figured it was a natural next step. I've always healed people with my music, and now I'm just doing the same thing with drugs."
Haley (reading Dylan's graffiti under the bleachers): "'Haley Dunphy Dome.' Aw, you named our special spot?"
Dylan: "Actually, it was supposed to be 'Haley Dunphy do me.' I'm bad with spacing."
Manny: "You think someday they might name this field after you?"
Cameron: "You're not the first person to think along those lines. Earlier today, someone in the faculty bathroom was messing around with the phrase, 'Cameron Tucker Dome.'"
STORY 2: Phil vs. the Universe and Claire vs. the Workplace
Phil tries to teach his kids about optimism, but nothing seems to be going his way. While getting ready to show a house, Phil gets locked out and while trying to climb through an open window, he gets soaked in an aquarium and crosses paths with a pet snake. At Pritchett Closets & Blinds, Claire desperately tries to establish herself beyond being merely the boss's daughter. Her mission soon proves difficult when she finds herself locked in one of the closets in the company warehouse.
Phil: "I haven't sold a house all month. You see me saying, 'I'm done'? Never. Because there is no 'Done' in 'Dunphy'! I'll see you guys at the game!"
Phil: "There is no 'Unph' in 'Dunphy'! ...Different spelling."
Phil: "As my favorite redhead once sang, 'The sun will come out tomorrow.' That redhead, of course, was Mitchell."
Phil (to potential home buyers): "So, should we just cut to the chase and pay me my commission? I'm kidding, you don't pay me directly. There is no 'fee' in Dun... Phil."
video Claire is Frigid
video Luke Chooses to Help Alex
video Jay and Mitch Try to Get Even
video Phil Can't Take It Anymore
video Sneak Peek: Dylan Asks to Move In
video Haley Teaches Alex a Lesson About Roommates
video Jay Gets Shot in the Foot
video Mitchell's First Win as a Soccer Coach
video Sneak Peek: Alex Leaves for College a Day Early
video Phil and Claire Accidentally Meddle
video Phil and Claire Meddle Again
video Sneak Peek: Phil Tells Haley About Andy's Plan to Propose
video Haley Asks Andy About His Feelings
video Modern Castle: ABC Mash-Up Minute
video Jay Helps Mitchell Through His Midlife Crisis
video Tips for Surviving Comic-Con
video The Dad Bods of ABC Comedies
video Haley's Hair Catches on Fire
video Cam Thinks Mitch Is Cheating on Him
video Phil Convinces Andy to Propose to Beth