There's been a lot of backlash over the casting of Ben Affleck as the next Batman, but rather than jumping on the mudslinging Batwagon, we thought we'd be a little more constructive by suggesting another person to fill the boots of the Caped Crusader: Phil Dunphy. Phil might not seem like the most obvious successor to Dark Knight's cowl, so here are a few reasons why he could easily make Gotham City's villains tremble as they "Phil the agony of Dunpheat."
1. He Doesn't Like Clowns
Just like Batman loathes The Joker, Phil has a clown of his own to contend with: Fizbo. When Cameron's floppy-shoed alterego debuted in Season 1 for Luke's birthday party, Phil admitted he didn't like clowns. This dislike could help set up one of geekdom's the biggest rivalries of all time. It could be even bigger than Phil Dunphy versus Gil Thorpe.
Fizbo reimagined as evil? Watch the horror movie remix:
Phil Dunphy as Batman? See Mitchell Pritchett as Spider-Man.
2. He Likes Gadgets
When he's not rigging his house to be controlled by his iPad, Phil could be arming his utility belt with The Real HeadScratcher™ or his other inventions like Shower Snacks. Batman boasts proprietary items like Batarangs, the Batmobile and the Batcopter, and Phil already has a propensity to use his name as a brand prefix, coining things like the Phillowcase, Phil's-osophy and getting Phil-sical.
Could Phil handle the Batcycle? See him on his motorcycle adventure from the episode "Yard Sale."
Phil's Batcave would likely be powered by an iPad.
Gadget-loving Phil would probably use this to watch TV.
3. He Can Fight
After endless taunting in the episode "When a Tree Falls," Jay proved himself to be the bane of Phil's existence, and that's when Phil proved himself to be quite the master of hand-to-hand combat. Or at least, giant-overstuffed-glove-to-giant-overstuffed-glove combat.
4. He's Been Training a Sidekick
Batman has Robin and Phil has Luke. Phil's been training his son to be his apprentice for a while -- in the episode "Fulgencio," Phil assumed the role of the Godfather, while Luke served as his junior enforcer. If Luke were ever to be captured by an Arkham Asylum inmate, he'd be fine since Luke has already trained as an escape artist under his magic-loving father.
5. He Already Has an Alterego
Batman must conceal his true identity as Bruce Wayne, and Phil is already used to having an alterego. As "Clive Bixby," Phil role-plays as a suave playboy with Claire on Valentine's Day, so he's quite familiar with having a second identity. And if he were ever to need a butler like Alfred, there's always Jay's dog butler, Barkley.
How you like dem apples? Would Phil Dunphy make a good Batman? Which superhero could each Modern Family castmember be? Share your comments below.