Good Fries Are Hard to Come By

Sleepless in Santa Monica
By Nancy Kiu, Director of Medical Research

"Hurricane Amelia," as Amelia Shepherd used to be known as in her family, is a bold, brash, confidant woman with a take-no-prisoners attitude. After all, this is the girl who slept with a guy she met on a plane while en route to Seattle to visit her brother who had just been shot! But underneath all this bravado lies a little girl who witnessed her father's death, and has been fighting the demons from that day ever since. She hit rock bottom when she woke up lying next to her dead fiancé, and since then, she's made the choice to make peace with her past so she can finally move forward. But what happens when you come to terms with your past and you're living life again almost as if for the first time?

At the start of the episode, Amelia is 407 days sober. 407 days of a new life for Amelia. She's certainly changed a lot from the first time we met her – she even has her own apartment finally! But now that she is starting to be comfortable with herself, the next challenge is learning how to be open and allow someone else into your life. And that thought is terrifying for someone who has the amount of baggage Amelia has. But thankfully, Violet is there to help support her, the way Amelia supported Violet after Pete's death back in episode 603. And so Violet encourages Amelia to go out and start dating again.

Dating is hard. Meeting people is not easy. Love is terrifying. Have you seen the world that's out there? There's a whole industry dedicated to facilitating this process and it's still intimidating! It's so much easier to hide ourselves away at home and watch romantic comedies and judge others from the safety of the couch for wanting to find love. But wanting love or a relationship is not a weakness to be judged; it is, in fact, one of the bravest things anyone can do, because to love someone is to love ourselves, and give a part of ourselves over to a partnership. It means being willing to bare ourselves entirely to another person, and ask them to love us exactly as we are, baggage and all.

And as Amelia goes through this process, as if for the first time again, she questions what we all do at some point – does she deserve love? It's so much easier to hide from the truth of that question, but it's a testament to how much Amelia has grown and how far she's come, that she is able to look that question in the eye, and admit to herself, and to James, that yes, she deserves love. And she deserves to be loved in return. And she's no longer going to be afraid to take a shot at love and happiness. Because as Sheldon points out, as we get the older, the other things don't matter. You just have to be brave enough to be happy. And she has finally earned that.

After weathering the storm, the sun is finally coming out for Amelia Shepherd.