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Ep218 Brown Trembler

03/28/13 Season 2 TV-PG
Story 1: Noah and Opus Check In

After his divorce from Jill, Noah and Opus move into a hotel, drawing the ire of the Chatswin Mom Militia. George offers them a place to stay.
 

Memorable Quotes:

Sheila: "Children should be raised in a respectable 3-bedroom home."
Chatswin Mom #1: "With a picket fence!"
Chatswin Mom #2: "And window boxes."

Sheila: "It takes a village, George. And we're the village people."

Sheila: "Who brought the Stevia? No one? No one brought the Stevia. Unbelievable."

Hotel Manager: "There is choas on the service floor, sir. Chaos. Fighting, hair-pulling, tears. I'm afraid I'm going to have to invite you to leave."
Noah: "Wait a minute, you're kicking me out for LOVING the service here?"
Hotel Manager: "Precisely right."

Noah: "Ow."
George: "Something wrong?"
Noah: "Nope...All right, I'm a little worried that Opus and I might bleed to death...from the million little cuts that we're going to get from these rough sheets. Look, we've already been through so much."

George: "You know you can't live in a playhouse."
Noah: "One man's playhouse is another man's real house. Peter Dinklage said that. JK."

____________________

Story 2: Fred Gets Hip
 
Sheila pushes Fred to go after a job opening on the sales team and he seeks Tessa's advice on how to seem hip and cool enough to impress the young boss.



Memorable Quotes:

Tessa: I don't know if I want to hear this story."
Fred: Oh, you're worried there's gonna be sex? Don't be. There's never any sex in any of my stories."

Fred: "As a junior secretary, I know where I stand. My blood pressure's down, I even have my own catchphrase: 'Anybody need anything?'"

Fred: "I love a good V.V. as much as the next webhead, but that jam was fin as soon as it left Gangnam, op? 
Tessa: "Op?" 
Fred: "It's from the song! I think it's Korean. Anyway, op! Then I whip out my charger, charge my phone, and I close with, 'Chatswin is SO ghetto.'" 
 
Fred (to Todd during the job interview) : "O.M.G. I can't believe you just said 'social media campaign,' because I'm anti-social socially but I'm super-social social media-ly." 
 
Todd: "So you tweet?" 
Fred: "Like a brown trembler!"

Sheila: "Say maybe YOU should stay home with the kids and I should join the work force."
Fred: "Are you trying to have it all? Because I thought we'd agreed that we'd each have some."

Fred: "I've never been happier. Sheila's out pounding the pavement and I'm home pounding the cutlets. I even let my phone die. Along with my dreams. JK. #NotReally."

____________________


Story 3: Dallas Finds Out Dalia is a Hoarder

Dallas discovers Dalia is a hoarder after opening her closet.

Memorable Quotes:

Dallas: "What in blue blazers is going on in here?"
Dalia: "What's the problem, Mommy?"
Dallas: "Dalia, this closet is bursting at the seams like a Christina Aguilera dress...which is not a comment on her weight, but rather on the tightness of her attire."
Dalia: "I know. She really crams it in there. Just like me with my closet. I need a bigger one."

Dalia: "That's my first Lambo, Mommy. It only has 10,000 miles on it, you can't give it away."

Dallas (to George): "Careful! Those are gateway sheets. That's exactly how it started with Dalia. At first it was small things - designer diapers, toddler tanning bed - then the next thing you know, you're standing in JFK trying to explain to U.S. Customs why you're smuggling half a dozen baby leopards into the country, none of whom survived the flight."

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