Tessa: "How do you feel about California?"
Ryan: "You mean, sexually?"
Fred: "Ryan, before you answer, just remember, if you go that far away, your mother and I will die of grief."
Lisa: "Upon which, I will bury them, sell your belongings, and move to Oregon."
Ryan: "So, University of Oregon? She's my only remaining family, Tessa."
Tessa: "We need a rational adult, where's Sheila?"
Lisa: "Ryan, if you won't listen to me, at least just listen to your birth mother."
Carmen Electra: "Hello there. I'm your mama, Carmen Electra!"
Ryan: "Mama? I always knew I was an Electra! In my heart, I knew it. Ryan Electra. It sounds right!"
Ryan: "Tessa, you're blinding me with science!"
Tessa: "Ok well then, how about this? I'll write down the names of all the schools, put 'em in a hat, and you can close your eyes and pick one."
Ryan: "The hat will decide."
Tessa: "Well, actually, the draw will decide."
Tessa: "Fine, the hat."
Mr. Wolfe (addressing the crowd awaiting Ryan's decision): "Good afternoon. Wow. Let me begin by saying we haven't seen this much press at Chatswin High since our former drama instructor staged an underage production of The Full Monty."
Fred: "Oh it was so good, such brave young men."
Sheila: "Don't even, stop it!"
Ryan: "Follow your dreams, and don't eat carbs.
Ryan: "You have to do both if you want to achieve greatness."
Javier (at a Chatswin Country Club wine tasting): "Did we all get the raspberry in the finish?"
Women (in unison): "Yes!"
Javier (snobbishly): "That was a trick question, there was no raspberry in the finish."
Rhonda: "Didn't you used to get towels?"
Noah: "Ok, keep, dump, or storage?"
George: "Are you kidding me? Look at this, flap in the back, two-tone pockets; it's a Gordon Gartrell, keep!"
Noah: "This is a dump if ever I saw one. This is a big, steaming, dump."
George: "Are you getting cold feet?"
Dallas: "Yes. But for me it's more of a circulation thing. My hands are always cold too."
Sheila: "Not a lot of curb appeal. But what she lacks in looks, she makes up for in girth. That's a handsome lot you're sitting on. You looking to sell?"
George: "Oh, no."
Sheila: "No one takes pictures of their house for no reason. What's the story, sport? Can't make the payments? Got a thing for the ponies? You back on the pipe?"
Girl (Greeting Sheila and Leslie in a Cockney accent when they enter the "Crafts Garret"): "Oh, 'ello! I didn't 'ear you come in. I were just sewing my poppet!"
Sheila (aside): "Take it easy kid, you're supposed to be a crafts geek, not a Victorian ghost!"
Girl: "The accent felt right for my character."
Sheila: "Hey! It's my character, I am just letting you play her!"
Sheila: "Order up a dumpster and dispose of this trash!"
George: "And by 'trash' you mean my memories and family history?"