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Suburgatory

Ep221 Apocalypse Meow

04/17/13 Season 2 TV-PG D, L, V
Story 1: Tessa Seeks Revenge on Dalia
 
Tessa blames Dalia after Ryan dumped her and smashed her heart into a million little pieces, and she wants revenge. As Dalia uses the breakup to further needle Tessa, her desire for revenge grows but she can't come up with a plan. Eventually, Tessa realizes there is only one way to deal with Dalia. The brawl that ensues in the hallways of Chatswin High was inevitable.
 


Memorable Quotes:

Tessa: "Meow Mix?"
Lisa: "It's exactly what you think it is: A recording of yours truly meowing some of the top hits of the late '80s/early '90s. Just one listen to my powerful rendition of Bonnie Tyler's 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' and suddenly seeking revenge will seem like, I don't know, 'What a Fool Believes,' which I also happen to meow on the B-side."

Reggie: "All right, picture's up. Although you really shouldn't be watching this..."
Lisa: "It's true, we don't have a warrant."
Reggie: "No I meant 'cause the resolution's only 480p. Hello! 2008 called, they want their component cables ba--"
Tessa: "Shut up, Reggie! She's glossing. Can we get tighter on this gloss?"
Reggie: "Ok, I'm not Wes Anderson."

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Story 2: George Tries to Tell Tessa He Sold Their House
 
George struggles to tell Tessa he has sold their house in Chatswin so they can move in with Royces. He enlists Dallas's help to tell Tessa the news, but they don't find Tessa a willing listener.



Memorable Quotes:

George: "Sheila, what are you doing here?"
Sheila: "I'm working! Unlike you decadent Bohemians, I don't have the luxury of sitting around sipping coffee at 8 am."

Dallas: "Tessa, is it my imagination or are you starting to take a sisterly interest in my baby girl? Are you finally starting to consider my little Dalia-doodle as part of your family? Because--"
Tessa: "Let me perfectly clear about one thing. There is nothing doodly about Dalia. And although you two may share superficial similarities, you are a nice person and she is, in fact, the devil."

Sheila: "Wow, all this talk about authority reminds me, I have to update Fred's chore chart!"
Fred: "Finished handwashing your underwear Sheila!"
Sheila: "Oh! Two more stars, you get a pizza party!"
Fred: "Rrraaawr. Pepperoni will be in attendance! Ditto for my best friend, fruit punch! I love fruit punch!"
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Story 3: Noah Gets Even with Bob for Stealing Carmen
 
Noah architects a run-in with his former psychiatrist Bob, who went behind his back and stole the object of his affection, Carmen. He convinces Bob to come in for a free dental cleaning and exacts his revenge on Bob through his teeth.




Memorable Quotes:

Noah: "Fancy running into you here at the Open Lotus. I guess our celestial orbits are fated to intersect."
Bob: "Perhaps. Or perhaps you're stalking me."

Noah: "Don't nama-go just yet. Namaste for a second."

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