Tessa (serving Lisa instant mac & cheese in the restroom while complaining about parents) : "Do they not realize that we are almost adults? They can't just tell us how it's gonna be anymore!"
Lisa: "And we're not just gonna choke down a cup of undercooked neon-colored noodles just to avoid hurting some homeless woman's feelings!"
Tessa (on running into her mom Alex at the Chatswin train station): "For someone who was never around, she showed up at just the right time."
George: "What kind of couch would you put in a leather living room?"
Dallas: "Me? I'd probably do a marble sectional."
Dallas (to George): "Did you see that lighting fixture? It was rustic meets sparkly. It was the perfect representation of us."
Steven: "You leave my daughter alone!"
George: "I thought that was your job."
Sheila: "The Father-Daughter Purity Ball: This is our chance to restore decency to Chatswin, to take our daughters gently by the weave and say, 'Slow down, you little ratchet.'"
Mr. Wolfe: "Do the girls have to be pure to attend, because I'm not showing any virgins currently enrolled here."
Sheila: "Oh, I think we have at least one, but I'm not here to boast about Lisa's late blooming."
Shelia: "The times, they have a-changed, and it is up to us to a-change them back!"
Fred: "My first time was with a girl I wasn't really in love with. And although I grew to care deeply for your mother, there are times I wish I'd trained with someone a bit more tender."
Sheila: "No female role model has the last name Minaj!"