STORY 1: When George really lets himself go after the breakup, a worried Tessa calls on George's dad, Emmett, to help snap him out of it.
Tessa: "Functioning people don't eat hamburgers before nine a.m."
Emmett: "There's a child in the house! Have you thought about what kind of impression you're making?"
Tessa: "Other than the one on the sofa?"
George: "You hush your lips!"
Emmett: "I want you to go get yourself all cleaned up. There's a swingles event in town that I've RSVP'ed for."
George: "Sorry, Dad--"
Emmett: "Look, a man's RSVP is his word!"
Dallas (to Emmett): "Based on your ignorance of local wine regulations, combined with your arresting-yet-unfamiliar face, I'm going to extrapolate that you're not from these parts."
STORY 2: When Ryan brings his new girlfriend home for a visit, Tessa struggles to deal with the fact that she is much more of a Tessa type than a Ryan type.
Lisa: "Ryan has a girlfriend?"
Sheila: "And Heaven has angels."
Tessa: "Isn't it obvious? She's like a poor man's me! Oh, don't tell me you don't see it! She's completely Tessa-like."
Lisa: "We don't even know her."
Tessa: "Don't we? Military boots? Snarky attitude? A lightly-flushed cheek and a natural lip? Side-part? It's like he's trying to recreate [me.]"
Tessa: "Get this, June: Everything you like about Ryan stems from me. So, uh, what I'm trying to say is, basically...you are in love with me."