I don’t know everyone’s feelings on crime. I doubt most people are pro, and I would agree. Murder, grand larceny, loitering – there are laws against them for a reason. But the people of Chatswin really need to scale back their reactions to fit the crime. For instance, Sheila Shay calling out the entire Chatswin police department for a few moon-faced dolls carries some moral baggage of its own. It also does not count as kidnapping, despite the fact that she treats the dolls better than her own daughter.
It’s obvious that Chatswin isn’t a beacon of crime like New York City, and that’s a good thing – at least according to George. But is there not something more productive our boys in blue can be doing? Directing traffic, arresting loiterers, enforcing the strict “Two samples per person” rule at “The Gurt Locker.” On second thought, their crime-solving probably isn’t honed enough to manage any of those tasks.
You see, the dolls were right under the authorities’ noses the entire time. This wasn’t just a random figurine heist. This was a crime of passion. The means, motive and opportunity were all under Sheila’s own roof. If I hadn’t been so busy trying to pin the crime on myself as a means of getting out of Chatswin, I could have solved it. Probably in twenty-two minutes.