Tessa dissects and defines every part of the suburbs, from its inhabitants to daily rituals.
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Guys' Night Out
Description: A ritual in which men, desperate to assert their masculinity by declaring temporary independence from wives and girlfriends, overnight at a relatively tame destination that will not create waves with said wives and girlfriends. Such destinations include hunting lodges, casinos, anywhere that seems mediocre at first and does not improve upon further consideration. Activities range from gambling and drinking beer to watching sports or quietly remembering why they don’t invite that one guy more often. Outings typically conclude with a manly breakfast consisting of meat and coffee whereat the participants contemplate their reinvigorated masculinity.
Top Destinations: Atlantic City, Hoolihan’s Pub, Not Baybreeze Spa and Massage.