STORY 1: Kimmie takes it upon herself to embellish her online dating profile and those of her roommates after they fail to get any interest on an internet group dating site. It does the trick, as the ladies find themselves on a group date at a trendy restaurant with three cute guys who are expecting a Russian super model (Kimmie), a tattoo artist (Helen-Alice) and a world-famous botanist (Marika). Can they make it through the date without revealing the truth?
Marika: "I just don't understand why we can't meet guys the old-fashioned way: Just fake a car accident and wait for somebody to pull over."
Kimmie: "We don't have a car, Marika."
Marika: "Oh, yeah."
Kimmie: "And make sure in my physical description it says 'heaving bosoms.'"
Helen-Alice: "Ok, next question. What is your idea of a perfect Saturday?"
Marika: "Oh! I totally got this. Ok, sleep in, eat some Belgie Waffs. Uh, wait no, write 'Belgian Waffles,' because they might not know what that means."
Helen-Alice: "Ok, Belgian Waffles…Kimmie!"
Kimmie: "Ok, put, 'go to a Renaissance faire.' Oh no wait, that might make me sound weird. Put, 'go to a Renaissance festival.'"
Kimmie: "Yeah, Renaissance fest."
Helen-Alice: "Ok. I will say, 'take the SATs.' Duh-doy."
Dan: "I'm Dan, by the way. I seem to have been overlooked in the hurly-burly of introductions, but I am here, I do exist, and hey, if you listen close enough, you just might find I'm a pretty damn interesting guy."
Kimmie (in Russian accent): "Dan, you know, you remind me a lot of man from my village. One winter it got so cold we had to feed him to the wolves."
Dan (confused): "How did that... solve the cold problem?"
Marika: "Ok let's cut the chit-chat. Life story, thirty seconds, do not bore me, go!"
Dan: "It all began five thousand years ago in the land of the mighty Pharaohs. A high priest climbed the mighty pyramid and foretold of one as yet to be born. 'Dan shall be his name, and like the mighty pyramid shall be his heart.'"
Marika: "Wow Dan, that was a pretty crazy response."
Dan: "That's just Dan bein' Dan."
Kendall: "We are about to lose Peter Crane and his thirty-million-dollar account."
Richard: "Ahhh, Peter Crane, billionaire tech visionary slash knobhead."
Kendall: "Yes, and currently, one of our most important clients. Samit & Egg are trying to poach him. Obviously, we can't lose him."
Kimmie: "I've prepared a report highlighting our success with tech companies. Um, oh--no that's my Pretty Little Liars fantasy fiction. I make them all fat and ugly."
Peter Crane: "You see, I can smell fear. And right now, P.U. you both stink. I'm talking about you stink (points to Richard) and you stink too (points to Kendall). Like a couple of scared animals that I'm about to shoot."
Peter Crane (mimes shooting): "You do much hunting Richard?"
Richard: "Uh me, no. Easter Eggs mainly."