STORY ONE: Beverly, The Good Neighbor
Beverly can't stand the fact The Kremps are scared of her. In order to show them her "nice" side, Beverly hosts a barbaque.
Murray: "Okay now you're in trouble. Your son has been calling smut numbers."
Beverly: "I don't care I have something important to tell you. The Kremps are coming over for a barbeque."
Barry: "Yes! That is big. Now let's focus on this and not my thing. Tell us more about this important barbeque."
Erica: "Wait are we talking about all the Kremps here, like the boys too? The one that's Adam's age and the one my age with sandy brown hair and blue eyes."
Murray: "You still want to have a barbeque with these people even though that woman is terrified of you?"
Beverly: "Not any more. I woke up early this morning. Followed her for 2 miles on foot. Then chased her down and convinced her. There's nothing scary about me."
Murray: "Come on. I had nothing planned this weekend. It was perfect."
Beverly: "Well now you do and you will be warm and inviting and so help me god you better not fall asleep in front of these people."
STORY TWO: Get Off the Phone
Barry and Erica can't find a way to share the Goldberg telephone line. Their fighting ultimately leads to Erica's decision to not fight with Barry.
Barry: "Get off the phone. Get off the phone. Get off the phone."
Erica: "I'm talking! Go away or I'll punch you in the soft part of your skull. "
Barry: "Mom told you not to punch me there. Now give me the phone I have an important call to make."
Erica: "Really? What's so important?
Barry: "I've got to call Rodger. He borrowed my hockey stick and I found a hornets nest out back."
Erica: "Your life is so sad and simple. Go."
Barry: "No. Get off the phone. Get off the phone. Get off the phone "
Pops: "Hey you know when I was your age I was a radio man with the 103rd working with the French and the British. We shared one line and we still managed to win the war."
Barry: "Can you please stop with these stores? This is a real life situation here. Dad, we've got to get a second phone line."
Murray: "Two phone lines. What does this look like? The white house?"
Pops: "A second line is that even possible with all those wires crossing in and out. Can they actually do that?"