The Royal Wedding is just a few days away. Everyone is really excited. Well, Frankie is. The rest of the Hecks couldn't care less.
Frankie is going all out for the big day. She orders fancy teacups and a commemorative plate. She plops them up on the mantle next to Mike's Colts memorabilia. Later, Frankie learns that the local electronics store has a 14-day return policy on all purchases with no questions asked. So, she buys a $3,000 big screen TV. Actually, she's just borrowing it. That thing's going back to the store after the wedding.
Mike's making cutbacks down at the quarry. That means no more free pretzels. This doesn't go over well with the workers. There's a bit of a revolt. The workers believe there may have been some misappropriation of pretzel funds after getting wind of their boss's brand new TV. Eventually, Mike agrees to bring back the twisted little snacks much to the delight of his salt-starved crew.
Sue wants to be part of the Shucker News team. What's Shucker News, you ask? It's the school news program that plays in the cafeteria at lunchtime. Brick provides a mnemonic device to help his sis prep for the audition. The letter N is to remind Sue to act natural. E is for enunciation. The letters W and S stand for "winning smile." Put them all together, what's that spell? NEWS!
Sue takes Brick's constructive criticism to heart. That's why she adds a few more letters to his mnemonic trick. The trigger word is now: NEWSBENJIVERTS. Sue puts the big word on a cue card and follows every helpful hint to the letter. This leads to a very awkward audition. But the folks down at the station recognize good penmanship when they see it in NEWSBENJIVERTS, so they ask Sue to be their new cue card girl. And that's the way it is.[break]
The big day is finally here. Frankie wakes up at three in the morning so as to not miss a moment of the Royal Wedding. Sadly, the TV won't turn on. This is not a test! This is an actual emergency! Mike manages to get the TV working, but the only channel they get shows an old football game.
Frankie has a complete meltdown when the snickering members of her family still can't see how important the Royal Wedding is to her. She even accidentally breaks her commemorative plate. Later, the family manages to tune in to the wedding. Too bad Frankie still won't be able to watch. She's been hit with an attack of pink eye, so her eyes are crusted shut. That's fine. Mike gives her the play-by-play of the entire event. He's such a prince.