S3 E22 The Telling

05/15/12 | TV-PG | CC

That screeching noise heard on the streets of Orson is Axl Heck riding his family's new desk chair down the road as it is strapped to the back of a truck. Frankie knows all about this little office furniture adventure. She's also savvy to the fact that Sue borrowed her earrings without permission. Yes, Frankie Heck is a mom who knows everything. That's because Brick is her secret snitch. She rewards him handsomely with candy cigarettes every time he tattles. The kid's addicted!

Mike is upset to learn that Frankie has turned their son into a snitch. He doesn't like tattletales. Speaking of tattling, Sue promises to not tell her parents that Axl snuck in after curfew as long as he drives her to the mall. The Ax-man doesn't want to jeopardize an upcoming trip to the lake with his pals, so he caves to his sister's demands. But when Sue continues to push things, Axl eventually fesses up to his crime.

Frankie suggests to Mr. Ehlert that they do a live radio show at the lot as part of a tie-in promotion with the Indianapolis 500. This gives the bossman the bright idea that they should sell 500 cars in five days. Things are slow until Mr. E. falsely promises customers a ride in a real Indy car. Just like that, the used car lot is mobbed with soon-to-be disappointed shoppers.

With Frankie busy at work, Mike must go to Brick's school to sign up for end-of-the-year volunteering on parent night. This is not as easy as it sounds. All the good jobs get snatched up as soon as the teacher finishes her speech. That's why Mike needs to sign up on the paper goods clipboard before all slots are gone. All you have to do for that job is shop and dump.

Frankie stresses the importance of having a pen ready to go during the sign-up session. Mike is caught off guard by the mad rush for the clipboards. Fortunately, he manages to sign up for paper goods. Too bad he uses a pencil. Another dad erases his name to put down his own in pen. Mike has no choice but to tell the teacher, who doesn't like a snitch. That's why the Hecks are stuck with the "class beautification" gig. They have to scrape a year's worth of gum from under the desks. That'll teach him not to tattle.

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