Juan, the Hidden Hills community’s beloved gardener, has passed away. It’s a sad fact of life -- one that the Zabvronians totally do not seem to understand. Marty and Debbie are worried because Max loved Juan and Max hasn’t ever really had to deal with death. But certainly he’ll take it better than the Zabvronians, who pretty much lose their minds over hearing the concept of death.
Debbie (sweaty in exercise clothes): Great run!
Jackie (not sweaty, in exercise clothes): I still don’t understand why we did it.
Debbie: To look good!
Jackie: But you look terrible. Like, the worst I’ve ever seen.
Larry: Oh, Juan…when you’re done lying motionless on the ground, perhaps you could come around front and water the shrubbery, it’s a bit dry. (pause) Juan?
Debbie: Juan isn’t ignoring you, he’s…you know, dead.
Larry: Well, make him stop.
Larry: Community! Your attention! Marty Weaver will now explain how death comes: at a prearranged moment, when you’re physically and mentally prepared, and it’s always, reasonable, fair and painless.
Marty: OK, here’s the thing. It doesn’t come at a prearranged moment, you’re never prepared, and it’s never painless.
Marty: What if I promised you that we’ll all die at exactly the same time? Would that make you feel better, sport?
Max: Are you nuts? How would that make me feel better?
Debbie: Did you just promise our son a murder-suicide pact?
Marty: I’m regretting the choice.
Larry sets out to “solve” the problem of death. Using the only dose of a medicine his father gave him before, he brings Juan back from the dead…kinda. He’s sorta zombie-fied, and he can’t talk, but he’s technically alive. That really confuses Max, who’s just learning about death. After a nice long talk, Max is fine, but Larry needs a nice chat from Marty as well. He’s not thrilled about death, but he accepts it.
Join the club, Larry.
Jackie: We were rather surprised by Juan’s passing. We don’t want that to happen again, so we must protect ourselves from future hurt.
Larry: So we’re thinking of becoming friends with things that don’t die, like goldfish or dogs.
Marty: Did you guys do any research before you came to this planet?
Marty: How do you know about Tetris but you don’t know about death?
Debbie: If you’re sad, Max, it’s OK. Men can cry. You’ve seen Daddy watch the Mets.
Debbie: Amber, I know you want to play dolls with Abby, your mother says, not asking but commanding.
Larry: If anything should happen to Jackie and me, not that it can or will, but as a father--
Marty: Hey, hey. Your children will be taken care of. OK?
Larry: Thank you. You should probably know that if anything happens to you and Debbie, Jackie and I--
Marty: My sister’s on it.
There Goes the Neighbors' Hood
All That Jazzy Jeff
Close Encounters of the Bird Kind
A Night in (Lou Ferrigno's Hibachi) Heaven
You've Lost That Larry Feeling
High School Reunion
Fear and Loving in New Jersey
A Christmas Story