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Ep116 Mother Clubbers

02/13/13 Season 1 TV-PG L


Debbie is busy these days. She feels like her only life is being a limo driver for her family and she’s not as attractive as she used to be. Jackie is realizing that she’s attractive on Earth -- which is crazy because on Zabvron she was considered frumpy while Larry was the hottie. Which is crazy.

So Larry decides he needs to recapture his sexy. Likewise Marty -- Debbie called him a “goofy man-child” in passing, not a title he relishes. So he seeks out Amber’s makeover skills to wow his wife. Larry’s already there for the same reason.

Memorable Quotes:

Debbie: I’m a mom. I’m a limo driver without a limo.

Larry: You feed this to your children? Is it to punish them?
Debbie: No, Larry, it’s not a punishment. It’s called cereal.
Larry: It’s 98% processed sugar spray painted pink. You’re better off eating the box.

Debbie: Larry, your wife is a 10.
Larry: Out of how many? If she’s a 10 I’m at least a 38.

Debbie: Oh my God, I’m dressed like Adam Sandler.

Debbie: If I were to get all styled up, do you think I could get into a club?
Amber: A book club?

Larry: This is real life, kids. It’s not TV! We are a family of aliens living amongst humans and every week we tackle a new problem together, and learn that while we may be from different backgrounds, even planets, family dynamics are in fact universal. It’s real life, kids, it’s not TV!

Debbie: Marty, you are always surprising me. Just when I think I’m sitting here looking at this goofy man-child who can’t even put Neosporin on his own elbow, and feeling like my life is getting claustrophobic and closing in on me, you say exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks for understanding, babe.
Marty: Goofy man-child?


Debbie gets dressed up to feel pretty; Jackie gets dressed up to show off her newly discovered hotness. They decide to hit up a hot new club called Hell in New York to live it up for a night. The boys are looking good now, so they run off to meet the girls at Hell to show them they can show their hot wives they’re hot too. There’s so much hotness in this episode, no? And that’s not including the club, which is aptly named, because it’s uncomfortably toasty in there.

Debbie loves Michael Bay, so when she bumps into him at the club and he finds her sexy, it’s pretty awesome. But not as awesome as she imagined, because she realizes that as goofy as he is, Marty’s the only one who does it for her.

Larry finally gets some attention at the bar across the street. It’s called Manhunters.

Memorable Quotes:

Marty (to Amber): I need you to help me step up my look for your mom.
Larry: Step in line, pal. I’m getting pretty first. I went to the grocery store and found that Jackie is better looking than me.
Marty: Oh, buddy. You didn’t have to go all the way to the grocery store to learn that.
Amber: Well played, Dad.
Larry: I’m reeling. I’m not used to being like you: far less attractive than my wife.
Amber: And Larry Bird gets on the board.

Dick: Mom and Debbie Weaver got dressed up went to Hell. As far as I’m concerned, you can all go there too.

Michael Bay: You an actress?
Debbie: I did a play in junior high, but that’s it.
Michael Bay: Shame. You’d look so good walking away from an explosion in slow-motion.

Marty: Michael Friggin’ Bay hit on my sexy wife.
Debbie: I don’t know if it’s sexy or weird that it’s turning you on.
Marty: I don’t know either, but it’s happening.

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