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Ep117 Larry Bird Presents An Oscar-Winning Film By Larry Bird

02/20/13 Season 1 TV-PG

The Weavers introduce the Bird-Kersees to the Oscars. Larry is inspired, and now he wants to make his own Oscar-winning film. When mashing elements from past Oscar winners together fails to produce results, he decides to make a documentary about Max and Dick’s school spelling bee.

Meanwhile, Debbie wants to help Max train for the competition, but Marty doesn’t want to push too hard and make him choke. Dick memorized the dictionary, so Max has a tough climb to beat him. But that makes Max an All-American underdog -- the perfect star of Larry’s documentary.

Memorable Quotes:

Debbie: We’ll be low-key about it. Casual.
Marty: Oh yeah. Because you’re great at being casual. No one casually abandons their husband on stage quite like you.

Larry: I’m off to make my Oscar winner. Wish me luck.
Debbie: Good luck.
Larry: I don’t need luck. I have my list. Just like my homeboy Schindler. Best picture, 1993.

Marty: Whaddya say we play a game where we spell everything we’re gonna do?
Debbie: Max, what are you gonna do?
Max: L-E-V.
(Max walks off)
Marty: Was that “leave”?
Debbie: I fear it was.

Reggie: Perhaps Best Picture’s a bit ambitious. If only there was a kind of film that didn’t require a script, or fancy sets or real actors.
Larry: Like those Tyler Perry things?

Jackie’s infatuated with The Blind Side, even using it as a verb. (Definition: “To find a child less fortunate than you are and dramatically change his life so that you feel like the most important and most needed person in the entire world.”) So when Abby has no one to share her tea party with, Jackie throws on a southern accent and decides to help her out.

Larry’s movie efforts are annoying everyone, especially Dick, who wants to impress his dad, but just can’t seem to. Dick is crushing it at the spelling bee, but Max is struggling. Just as it looks like Max is about to choke, his family steps in to save him.

And once Dick sees the final cut of Larry’s movie, he’s pretty happy.

Memorable Quotes:

Larry: Dick, I have some rather unfortunate news. You’re no longer the star of my documentary. Son, I’m going to shoot you straight because I know that’s how you like to receive information.
Dick: No it isn’t. I don’t know why you decided that.
Larry: You aren’t relatable, you’re not all-American and you keep looking directly into my camera lens.

Max: Guys, enough. I’m tired.
Debbie:
Well, you know what they say -- Nothing wakes you up more than spelling.
Max: Show me one person who says that. Show me that person, and I’ll spell all night.

Abby: Wanna sit together, Miss Joyner-Kersee?
Jackie:
That depends. Are you ready to start acting like an impoverished, 300-pound black man?

Marty: We’re also here to help you when you have trouble with stuff. We’re gonna start buckling down on the homework a little more.
Max: Finally, some structure. I’ve been drowning over here.

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