The Bird-Kersees want to go to a Broadway musical. The Weavers don't think they're ready for the big city. But they sneak out and go anyway, drawing the Weavers' ire -- which annoys the Bird-Kersees further.
Amber gets caught sneaking out to buy tickets for a Jay-Z concert, so now she's grounded. But she decides that if she just says no, Marty and Debbie can't do anything about it. So the concert's back on! Which isn't good, because then Max and Abby get on board too and start running amok and not listening to their parents.
Amber: Hey, Mom. Love the jacket. Your late 20s are really treating you well. (to Marty) And george Clooney! What did you do with my dad?
Marty and Debbie: What do you want?
Marty: We stopped going to musicals after our $600 family nap at Phantom of the Opera.
Abby: Hey Debbie, where's your copy of Magic Mike?
Debbie: You're not watching Magic Mike.
Abby: Fine, I'll illegally download it from the internet.
The Bird-Kersees enlist the whole community to help express themselves in song…it's musical time! The number ends when Dick falls into a well. And when the cops and the media show up to cover the kid-in-a-well story, can the Zabvronians keep their secret?
Reggie tries writing a song for Gisele…but realizes that he's still in love with Amber. He's going to tell her as soon as they meet up for the concert.
But the Weavers lay down the law: You kids don't want to listen? Fine. No Christmas, no birthdays, no bills paid, no pretty much anything they ever want ever. It works. So Amber never meets up with Reggie…and he assumes he's still got no shot with her.
Jackie: We were doing a musical number and Dick fell in the well.
Debbie: What?!? Dick, are you OK?
Dick: I'm well. Get it?
Jackie: Stop that, Dick.
Larry: It's not punny.
Dick: It appears all is lost. Why are you smiling, father?
Larry: Because this is the low point. And if I've learned anything from musicals, it's right after the lowest point that everything turns around. The main song is reprised, but with a new, potentially opposite message to the first song!
Larry: So that's it? You're just leaving, right?
Reporter: Yep. Once the kid's out of the well the story's over.
Debbie: Well, what about the story?
Reporter: Oh, my boss looked at it and he hated it. So I guess it's back to doing traffic. And my boss.
There Goes the Neighbors' Hood
All That Jazzy Jeff
Close Encounters of the Bird Kind
A Night in (Lou Ferrigno's Hibachi) Heaven
You've Lost That Larry Feeling
High School Reunion
Fear and Loving in New Jersey
A Christmas Story