Thursdays 9|8c
Season 1
Season 1 | Episode 106 | Aired 10/29/2013

STORY 1: When Jackie’s homemade costume nearly ruins Bert’s Halloween, Kate steps in with the costume he wanted, and Bert’s so overjoyed that he asks Kate to take him trick-or-treating. This leads to a fallout between Jackie and Kate, which gets worse when Bert goes missing.

Kate: "How do you not know who Iron Man is? He was in like, every movie this summer. Robert Downey, Jr.?"
Jackie: "Wait, hold up! Robert Downey had a son?!"

Kate: "Here's Bert's Iron Man costume!"
Jackie: "Kate, I don't say this enough, but you have totally saved Halloween for Bert and me!"

Jackie: "Oh I love trick-or-treating with [Bert] so much. It's like, thirty percent of why I adopted him!"
Kate: "That's sweet."

Bert: "Kate, look! Cotton candy! Can we get some?"
Kate: "Rookie mistake. You hit the big houses first. Big houses, big candy. Skip the apartments, because that's where all the gross taffy is. Then you close with the cotton candy, get sticky, hose off at home."
Bert: "Kate, you're a genius!"

Kate: "It just felt good to be the hero for once. Do you know how little I get right?"
Jackie: "Yeah, next to nothing. You're not great at reading social cues and you walk like you've never worn a centaur costume before."

STORY 2: Pete tries to get a neighborhood teen to admit he egged Pete’s house last Halloween. Diane steps in to intervene and Warren and Hillary get involved.

Pete: "When the neighbors steal my wi-fi, I do nothing. When the mailman keeps my Muscle & Fitness, I do nothing. When a hooligan eggs my home and moons my face, I do nothing. But when that kid has the audacity to return to my house and ask for candy?! This ends NOW."
Diane: "Ok, you've convinced me! Let's cut off his hands and kill him!"

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