Season 1 Episode 7 The Date

11/06/13 Season 1 TV-PG D, L

STORY 1: When Jackie has a drunken encounter with one of Pete’s coworkers at Kate and Pete’s party, Kate and Pete deal with the ensuing awkwardness.

Kate: "Great party! Our friends are totally meshing."
Pete: "I know, I know! Between the hipsters and the lawyers, I can't tell if the Polo shirts are ironic or if the mustaches are sincere."

Jackie: "Hey, your pool filter kind of stretched out my bra and I hate to charge you for it so...just give me one of yours?"
Kate: "Yeah, of course Jackie." 

Jackie (at the restaurant with Kate and Pete, waiting for Steve to arrive): "Sorry, sorry. I'm just--I'm very nervous. Ok? How do I look? How do I look? Be honest. How do I look?"
Pete: "You look great. You sound crazy."
Jackie: "Aw, you're just saying that."

(to Pete and Kate): "Ok, guys, I think I can take it from here. Why don't you take this bread and roll?"
Steve: "You're a rye-ot."
Jackie: "Challah!"
Pete (as he and Kate leave): "I can't get out of here fast enough."
Steve: "Nothing ventured, nothing grained."
Jackie: "Well, here goes muffin!"
[Jackie kisses Steve]
Steve (awkwardly): How is the bread here?"
Jackie: "I don't know, I'm gluten free." 


STORY 2Warren and Bert try to attract more viewers to their live-streaming gum review show, "Blow This with Warren and Bert."

Warren: "Hmm. This gum has notes of peppermint, wintergreen, and a clean, sorbitol finish."
Bert: "I think that will pair nicely with apple juice."
Warren: "That's an interesting spot to leave off. We'll see you tomorrow. But for now, I'm Warren..."
Bert: "And I'm Bert. And we are..."
Warren/Bert: "Blow This with Warren and Bert!"

Hillary (speaking into the camera): "Coming up: gum in your stomach. Dangerous, or no big deal?"
Bert (sotto voce to Warren): "We're not going to use this, right?"
Warren (to Bert): "I don't even have the camera on."


STORY 3Meg helps Diane with a secret mission.

Meg: "Oh hey, what up Doc? You want a drink?"
Diane: "There's not enough Purell in the world. I'm here to ask you to take down that juvenile picture you put of me on Instant-gram.
Meg: "Oh, no. It's funny, and I've gotten like fifty 'likes.'"
Diane: "Wow, major LOL situation."
Meg: "Ok, I get it. You think you're better than me because you're a dentist."
Diane: "I'm an orthopedic surgeon, Meg."
Meg: "Play me for it. Beer pong. You and me."

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