Bert: "My head tingles."
Diane: "Well that's because there's lice dying all over your scalp."
Diane: "Kate, listen to me, because this is most important: cappuccino."
Kate: "Making coffee is the most important?"
Diane: "Oh cappuccino isn't coffee...a former barista should know that."
Kate: "I was never a barista."
Diane: "Oh. I thought you had a job once."
Kate: "Just listen to me. She thinks she's so perfect, nobody's perfect. Just look at Lance Armstrong!"
Jackie: "Do you think she's juicing? No, I've thought that!"
Kate: "We have to teach her that she's not perfect."
Jackie: "I am reading your mind...What are you thinking?
Kate: "I'm sorry again about the whole shampoo switcheroo." [When she gets no response, starts talking as Diane.] "That's ok, Kate. I would've done the same thing if I were you."
Diane: "You are the Typhoid Mary of this lice outbreak."
Bert: "Fact: Warren stole Beary White. Fact: stealing is wrong. Fact: Warren is wrong!"
Pete: "That's a very strong argument."
Warren: "How is that strong? Anyone can do that! Fact: I am hungry. Fact: I want a cookie. Fact: I am a cookie."
Bert: "You're not a cookie."
Pete: "Do you guys know the Judgment of Solomon?"
Warren: "Is that a video game?"
Warren: "Then no."