Season 1 Episode 10 Twas the Night Before Christmas… Or Twas It?

12/11/13 Season 1 TV-PG

When all the presents go missing on Christmas morning and none of the parents can remember where they are, the family goes on a mission to piece together the mystery of what happened the night before Christmas. Along the way, Kate and Jackie team up to give Diane the perfect Christmas gift and Pete trades in his Grinch-like attitude and embraces the true spirit of Christmas.

Hillary: "Mom, your gingerbread house is amazing!"
Diane: "It's a Frank Lloyd Wright, gluten-free, and structurally sound."
Warren: "Wow! Well hey, you know the only thing missing from this masterful creation is a gingerbread doghouse."
Hillary: "Yes!"
Warren: "Hint, hint."
Hillary: "Hint, hint."
Diane: "Well if you do get a dog, you'll know Santa's real, because I'd never get you one, hint hint."

Kate: "It all starts to get fuzzy after we put the kids to bed."
Jackie: "Yes! I remember telling them not to come out of their rooms til morning or Santa wouldn't bring them anything over forty dollars... And then I remember Diane falling!"
Diane: "No, I didn't fall. I never fall. I remember when I learned to walk, it was instant."

Warren: "Did you find them yet?"
Kate: "No, but it's only been thirty seconds."
Warren: "How about now?"
Pete: "Cool your shorts, my young consumer."
Bert: "Helloooo, presents, where arrreee you?"
Hillary: "You know, it's fine you guys, we'll just go on Instagram and look at pictures of our friends' presents."

Pete: "Why would you shred all this?"
Kate: "I didn't! I didn't even know we had a shredder."
Pete: "You've been living here a year, and you didn't realize we had a shredder?"
Diane: "And I say again, what does she do all day?"

Diane: "Meg, can you watch my little puppy please?"
Mrs. Steinberg: "You know he looks a little like a coyote."
Meg: "He looks a lot like a coyote!"

continue reading