WATCH FULL EPISODES ONLINE

Script Tease: Parent-Teacher Meeting

  • By ABC.com

INT. HIGH SCHOOL CLASSROOM

Diane and Kate sit opposite Mrs. Steinberg. Diane is sitting in a normal chair. Kate is still wedged into her tiny desk.

DIANE:
What do you mean an “unusual” passage?

MRS. STEINBERG:
We’ve been reading Greek mythology.

KATE:
Yeah, Warren’s really into Poseidon.
(showing off)
God of the sea.

Diane is unimpressed.

DIANE:
Yes, Kate, everyone knows who Poseidon is.
(to Mrs. Steinberg)
Perhaps if you read us what he wrote?

Mrs. Steinberg hesitates. Then starts reading.

MRS. STEINBERG:
“Poseidon left the sea, where he lived, and came to the island, where she lived.”

DIANE:
Okay, so he's not Faulkner.

Mrs. Steinberg holds up her finger, like “one minute.”

MRS. STEINBERG:
“Poseidon moved in to kiss her. ‘I’m too old for you,’ she said, her breasts heaving like milky grapefruits.”

Kate snorts. Diane shoots her a look.

KATE:
Sorry.

MRS. STEINBERG:
“‘Age ain’t nothin’ but a number,’ declared Poseidon. And then with his agile tongue, he licked her ankle tattoo until it glistened. He could wait no longer. His mighty trident ripped through his--”

KATE:
Hello!

DIANE:
That’s enough.


Comments

Use a Facebook account to add a comment, subject to Facebook's Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Your Facebook name, photo & other personal information you make public on Facebook will appear with your comment, and may be used on ABC's media platforms. Learn more.

Watch Full Episodes

  • Expires in 6 days

    Mother's Day
    21:31 | Aired on 05/13/2014
    Kate is overjoyed when Diane and Jackie offer to let her have the kids on her first Mother's Day, however, when Kate discovers their hidden agenda -- she is determined to get revenge.
  • Expires in 6 days

    The Minutes
    21:18 | Aired on 04/08/2014
    The Kate-Diane power balance flips after Kate publically saves Diane’s life. But when a now over-confident Kate gets in trouble at the PTA meeting, she needs Diane to help get her out of it.
  • Expires in 6 days

    Back to School
    21:32 | Aired on 05/06/2014
    Kate begrudgingly agrees to accompany Jackie to her high school reunion, not fully realizing all that it entails.
  • Expires in 6 days

    Happy Bert Day
    21:29 | Aired on 03/04/2014
    Kate uses Bert’s birthday party as an entree into the exclusive soccer mom clique. Meanwhile, Diane refuses to admit she made a mistake when she makes an illegal left turn, and Warren develops a guy crush on the object of Hillary’s affection.
  • Expires in 6 days

    There's No Guy in Team
    21:07 | Aired on 04/29/2014
    Kate tries to help Warren improve his social life, but her efforts backfire.