- THE MIDDLE - "Mother's Day" - Mother's Day for Frankie is anything...
- MODERN FAMILY - "The Incident" - Claire and Mitchell's mother, Dede...
- BETTER WITH YOU - "Better with a Cat" - After parents-to-be Mia and...
- MODERN FAMILY - "The Incident" - Claire and Mitchell's mother, Dede...
- COUGAR TOWN - "I Won't Back Down" - When Jules inadvertently tells...
- COUGAR TOWN - "I Won't Back Down" - When Jules inadvertently tells...
- COUGAR TOWN - "Everything Man" - Grayson introduces girlfriend Sara...
- MODERN FAMILY - "Airport 2010" - For Jay's birthday, Gloria gives him...
- THE MIDDLE - "Mother's Day" - Mother's Day for Frankie is anything...
- THE MIDDLE - "Worry Duty" - Frankie is worried that Axl's going to...
- MODERN FAMILY - "Fifteen Percent" - Mitchell plants the seed in Jay's...
- MODERN FAMILY - "Fifteen Percent" - Mitchell plants the seed in Jay's...
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lol moments
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So what's your story? Miss America pageant in town?
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Uh, school started three hours ago. Are either of you gonna take me?
- Brick (The Middle) Make this your facebook status
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Do you know how offensive it is that you put us all in the same mixing pot?
- Gloria (Modern Family) Make this your facebook status
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Hey, Mom, look. I'm using my history book as a plate. No clean-up for you. You're welcome.
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Here today, gone to Maui!
- Cameron (Modern Family) Make this your facebook status
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People always say I scream Hawaii.
- Cameron (Modern Family) Make this your facebook status
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I gave myself the practice test while I was on the toilet...I got a D, and that was with cheating.
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The new maid keeps mixing up my underwear with Manny's. Put on the first thing I grabbed. It was like a crotch tourniquet.
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Average is the new below average.
- Frankie (The Middle) Make this your facebook status
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I mean, for me it's a locker room. For him, it's a showroom.
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He wants to make love to an Ewok!
- Jules (Cougar Town) Make this your facebook status
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Gloria and I are from different generations and I won't lie, it isn't always easy. I mean, last week she thought Simon & Garfunkel were my lawyers.
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Axl is gifted? Our Axl?
- Frankie (The Middle) Make this your facebook status
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When someone tells me I can't bring my own snacks into their stadium, that's when I get a little nuts. It's a free country, right? Let's just say it ruffles me when some goobers tell me I have to spend half my payday on their hot dogs.
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Everything works better when you have a plan. Birthdays...Vacations...Murders.
- Jules (Cougar Town) Make this your facebook status
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I brought my own snacks. Not because I'm cheap. It's a matter of principle. Plus, I get a little rush from the danger.
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All right, I taught you how to burp the alphabet; I guess I can teach you how to study.
- Mike (The Middle) Make this your facebook status
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Put the 'he' in 'hero,' son.
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Families where parents get up every morning and go to jobs that are hard so they can get their kids through school and through life and struggle to make it all work…well that's not average, that's extraordinary.
- Frankie (The Middle) Make this your facebook status
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Pretty kitty has nails. I like that.
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Claire's a perfectionist, which sometimes is a good thing, like when it comes to picking a husband.
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I love cross country! That's running, right?
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I mean, it feels good to know that your whole family would just dump everything to be with you, to fly across the ocean in a steel coffin.
- Claire (Modern Family) Make this your facebook status
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My idea was to have the whole family in a giant bed like in 'Willy Wonka.'
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Told ya I was smarter than you thought. Good thing you caught me. I was just about to study. That would have been a big waste of time.
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We're gonna go to a luau, swim with the Miami Dolphins...
- Gloria (Modern Family) Make this your facebook status
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Hey, new dad, you give me twenty bucks I'll never call you new dad again.
- Travis (Cougar Town) Make this your facebook status
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I love my family. I love 'em at dinners... I love 'em at barbecues... but do I have to love 'em in Hawaii?
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Okay, what magazine or ladies' show can I blame for this?
- Mike (The Middle) Make this your facebook status
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It was sort of a Bob Mackie meets Martha Stewart project.
- Cameron (Modern Family) Make this your facebook status
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Why can't there be some team...some club...that you can get into just because you showed up?
- Frankie (The Middle) Make this your facebook status
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What people do in the privacy of their own sports arena should be their own business.
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I was thinking we book a couples' massage. I accidentally looked in on one. They seemed really relaxed until they noticed me.
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Stop having sex with babies!
- Jules (Cougar Town) Make this your facebook status
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You never want your kids to see you scared. You want to be that rock that they grab a hold of in a stormy sea. Actually, a rock would sink. So a floating rock.
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I don't have any study skills and those are very hard skills to learn at my age. My brain's already formed. Maybe if you had raised me better...
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If Matt Damon weren’t married and if he weren’t a movie star and if he lived in this town, I really think we would date.
- Laurie (Cougar Town) Make this your facebook status
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I noticed some lovely tweens down by the kids' club. Maybe we can find a nice spot near them by the pool and send over a couple of virgin mai-tais.
- Manny (Modern Family) Make this your facebook status
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The urge to mate is a powerful incentive, Frankie. Makes men do crazy things. Makes men marry.
- Mike (The Middle) Make this your facebook status
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He has a natural confidence. I admire it and fear it.
- Manny (Modern Family) Make this your facebook status
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Oh, and you know, if you keep on whispering to yourself...Santa's not gonna bring you any presents.
- Mike (The Middle) Make this your facebook status
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It would be like Lewis telling Clark that he didn't like to walk. Side note: We're very good friends with a couple named Lewis and Clark. Clark bought a big sparkly belt in New Orleans that he calls his Louisiana Purchase.
- Cameron (Modern Family) Make this your facebook status
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Say it. Christmas is stressful and exhausting and horrible. Say it!
- Frankie (The Middle) Make this your facebook status
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I'm a mom traveling with my kids. For me, this is not a vacation. It's a business trip.
- Claire (Modern Family) Make this your facebook status
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You knew what you were getting when you bought me.
- Mike (The Middle) Make this your facebook status
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I thought that one of the advantages of marrying an older guy was that I was going to be able to relax. But all the swimming and running and rowing... it's just like how some of my relatives got into this country.
- Gloria (Modern Family) Make this your facebook status
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I decided to get in better shape quick. Didn't want to end up like my old man. Although he did die doing what he loved -- refusing service to hippies who came into his store.
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Perhaps I'll be Reginald Appleby. An English gentleman in town for a polo match.
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Mike, you looked into her eyes and told her you understand? You can't do that to a woman!
- Frankie (The Middle) Make this your facebook status
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She can't take criticism about her driving. Once an old lady yelled at her at a crosswalk, she honked so long, the horn ran out.
- Manny (Modern Family) Make this your facebook status
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Turning a family vacation into a honeymoon takes commitment. You can do it. Eye of the Tiger.
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I'm just a boy trying to bring style back to travel.
- Manny (Modern Family) Make this your facebook status
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I think we can all agree that I peaked in high school.
- Bobby (Cougar Town) Make this your facebook status
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Could you make it a double? I'm traveling with my family.
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I just ordered an extra-long straw to avoid accidentally doing a sit-up.
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Manny's the worst roommate ever. Everything he finds, he folds.
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You dress her up for every holiday. I was giving her a bath last night and still saw traces of Martin Luther King behind her ear.
- Mitchell (Modern Family) Make this your facebook status
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It's the kickoff to the whole Orson bikini season. If our family can turn our back on this tradition then I don't know what we stand for anymore.
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I know I got a lot of baggage, but don't worry, I'm seeing a therapist. Just kidding. I'm fine.
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Sweet Lady Gaga... that is good.
- Mitchell (Modern Family) Make this your facebook status
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Jay, you look so strong and sexy. Like an Olympic wrestler, but with money.
- Gloria (Modern Family) Make this your facebook status
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If a conversation goes on too long without being about me...I'm out.
- Ellie (Cougar Town) Make this your facebook status
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The Lavender Ranch it's... it's something two men are meant to do together.
- Mitchell (Modern Family) Make this your facebook status
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This is a coup. When you get in with Jasper, doors open. He's a legacy at Happy Time Preschool.
- Cameron (Modern Family) Make this your facebook status
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I'm curious. Is there any sand left on the beach or did you bring it all up to our bathroom?
- Manny (Modern Family) Make this your facebook status
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You know how much I love going to countries with handsome black men wandering around.
- Laurie (Cougar Town) Make this your facebook status
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Just to be clear, I'm not condoning eating your kids, but I sure as heck know why giraffes do it.
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There she is. The prettiest white woman on Maui.
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Is she moving in slow-motion or is my brain doing that?
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It's just the beginning. Buckle your seatbelt, lady. You're being wooed.
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Seriously, Brick, you read a hundred books a day. Can't one of them be about sports?
- Mike (The Middle) Make this your facebook status
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A realtor's just a ninja in a blazer. The average burglar breaks in and leaves clues everywhere. But not me. I'm completely clueless.
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It's Valentine's Day. It's not the day you run away from love. It's the day you chase it down.
- Cameron (Modern Family) Make this your facebook status
laugh on line-up
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The Middle
WEDNESDAYS 8|7c
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Modern Family
WEDNESDAYS 9|8c
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Cougar Town
SEASON PREMIERE TUESDAY FEB 14 8:30|7:30c
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Jimmy Kimmel Live!
WEEKNIGHTS 12|11c
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