S1 E09 Who's Zoomin' Who?

05/22/05 | TV-14 | CC

Seattle Grace Hospital is overrun with secrets, sex and syphilis. Cristina Yang puts it perfectly, “The only thing that spreads faster than disease is gossip.” Everyone has a secret. There are secret phone calls, secret lovers, secret surgeries and the biggest secret of all—a secret spouse.

George asks Alex to take a look at this strange rash he has. It’s syphilis. Yes, syphilis. Of all people, we did not expect George. Alex maybe, but definitely not George. The only person George has been with is Olivia, the nurse he’s been dating. Cristina dubs him Syph Boy and the name catches on FAST.

Chief Webber has a brush with a surgeon’s greatest fears—losing his eyesight. He swears McDreamy to secrecy about removing his eye tumor. He’s afraid of the vultures ready to swoop in and take his position. They won’t know if his eyesight will recover ‘til he wakes up.

George isn’t the only one with syph. There’s a major outbreak at Seattle Grace Hospital which means they are all sleeping together. The staff giggles through a safe sex class just like in high school. And they all have to get tested. C’mon it’s funny—that is if you don’t...

Burke’s oldest friend needs a biopsy of a mass in his bladder. Alex jokes that it looks like an ovary. Burke says, “This is one of my oldest friends. You better take this seriously.” We want Burke as our friend. He’d have our backs. George comes in with the test results—that mass, it’s an ovary. But that is just minor compared to what they discover later!

Cristina & Izzie’s patient dies unexpectedly. They do not want to be called the next 007’s. They try to get the family to agree to an autopsy but the family is adamantly against it. They do it anyways and get caught by Bailey. She comes down on them harder than we’ve ever seen but for good reason—not only is it unethical but illegal.

Burke wonders why Cristina is in the syphilis testing line. He tells her there’s no one else and asks her “Do I need to be in this line?” They walk away together, satisfactory smirks on their faces. It just makes you say “ahhh.”

Meredith and McDreamy decide they should have some rules about their relationship, now that they’re admitting that they actually have one. Meredith finally tells McDreamy the secret about her mother.

During the surgery, Burke discovers that his friend could not be the father of his wife’s baby. Burke confronts his friend’s wife about it. “What Bill doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” Burke is going to tell him—he’s a doctor and his friend. How do you break the news to your best friend that you have an ovary and you’re not the baby daddy?

Bailey, Cristina & Izzie tell the autopsy patient’s family that he had a genetic heart condition and the daughter might have it too. Bailey convinces the family to retroactively sign the consent form. Whew, it all worked out.

Olivia apologizes to George for giving him syphilis. George finds out that she got it from Alex but it was before she and George were serious. George beats the crap out of Alex and the other interns have to pull them apart. Maybe George will shed his beta-boy rep.

Meredith meets McDreamy in the lobby but he has something to tell her before they leave. A beautiful redhead woman shows up and he immediately tells Mer, “I’m sorry.” Mer is confused, especially when the woman introduces herself as Addison SHEPHERD and says “You must be the woman screwing my husband.” What a bombshell! And all McDreamy has to say is “I’m sorry.” Really??? Oh, we were pissed. So pissed.

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