S2 E05 Mother Fracker

11/30/12 | TV-PG | CC

Vanessa speaks at Eve’s career day, and gets hammered by the kids because she describes her work as a geologist -- and some of it is known as “fracking.” A bunch of the kids start getting angry because they’ve heard fracking is bad for the environment. When Eve brings that anger home, she declares that she’ll live in the backyard without energy until Vanessa quits her job.

Mandy is trying to get Kristin out of the house, so she can have a little fun. Boyd’s gonna spend the weekend with Ryan, so this is a perfect chance to hit the clubs! Kristin finally relents, but downgrades the evening to a movie so she can get a moment of some peace and quiet…which she gets until she calls Ryan’s house. Then she finds that he’s out and left Boyd with a sitter -- and boy, is she furious.

Memorable Quotes:

Mike: I used to heat my brother’s blanket up in the dryer.
The only problem is that he was still holding it.

Mike: My speeches tend to be kinda informative, which gets me in trouble with the teachers’ union -- kids actually learning something…

Mandy: Did they really say all that stuff to your face?
Vanessa: Yeah, they said it to my face, they yelled it at my car as I drove away, they wrote it on the comment cards… Except for Dylan here, who thinks I’ve got “a bangin’ pair of getaway sticks.”
Mike: One kid learned something.

Mike: Well…look what Ralph Nader just horked up.

Mike: This is a classic case of Nature vs. Nurture. You just offended the Nurturer, so now you can live out here with Mother Nature.

Mike: We gotta let her tough it out until she caves…or runs out of TP.

Vanessa has a talk with and Eve about compromise and how everything isn’t exactly black and white in a less-than-perfect world. After some time -- and some freezing weather -- Eve relents. Mike tells her he’s  not mad that she cares about things, just that she’s pinning the world’s environmental woes on her mom, who’s just trying to do what’s best for her family.

Turns out Ryan’s at a bar, on a date! But what about Boyd’s bedtime routine? Well, Boyd didn’t need it. Ryan posits that Kristin is the one who needs the routine. Sometimes she uses Boyd to not have other things in her life. Ryan’s date bails when she finds he’s a dad, but he and Kristin hang at the bar all night -- and Mandy gets to dance the night away with them after all!

Memorable Quotes:

Kristin: Thanks for letting me pick the movie.
Of course. Why would we want to see Ryan Gosling take his shirt off when we can watch Dame Judi Dench fall in love in Tuscany?

Ed: I wouldn’t miss a Judi Dench movie. Sometimes I just need a good cry.

Mike: Baby, you can’t let [our daughter] win. We do not negotiate with terrorists.

Vanessa: Eve, I know at your age things are either right or wrong, good or bad, sick or janky--
Eve: I hate it when you google slang before we talk.

Ryan: Kristin, this is my friend Edie.
Kristin: Careful, I was his "friend" too, and now I pee a little whenever I cough.

Mike: Honey, are you staying warm?
Eve: There’s ice where my snot used to be.

Mandy: I take it you’ve never seen Ryan dance before?
Kristin: Why’s that?
Mandy: Because if you had, I would not have a nephew.

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