Mike’s not thrilled with Eve’s latest soccer performance. He thinks she’s gotta step her game up, and wants to show her by watching the footage Vanessa recorded of the game. Problem is, Vanessa pretty much just recorded footage of the new sexy assistant coach, Octavio.
Everyone thinks Octavio’s hot. Mandy is going on about him when Kyle walks in. She’s embarrassed at first, and then angry when Kyle won’t get jealous about it. But she’s even madder when he calls her “Kristin” while they’re fighting.
Vanessa: Why couldn’t Eve have been a total klutz like you and Mandy?
Kristin: I like to think that we all have our own strengths. Like, for instance, Mandy has her keen fashion sense, and I…am fertile.
Vanessa: If a private coach means less of you two arguing then I’m all for it.
Mike: Perfect, I’ll give him a call. I guess he does it for a lot of the girls.
Vanessa: He does it for a lot of the moms too.
Mandy: Did you just call me Kristin?
Kyle: I don’t know. It’d make sense, though. I used to date a Kristin.
Octavio, however, doesn’t think Eve is that great at soccer. Mike fires him, because he just thinks Eve needs a good push. On the other side, Vanessa wants Eve to have realistic expectations. When Eve finds out what Octavio said, she gets motivated to practice her butt off -- Mike wins!
When Mandy explains the Kyle situation to Kristin, she feels better. You see, Mandy deduces that she was being “a real bitch, so naturally he thought of you.” How sweet.
Vanessa: Oh, Octavio. Come in, come in. I wish I’d known you were coming!
Mike: Yeah, she would have made herself 20 years younger.
Octavio: Let me put this in terms you can understand. If soccer were fishing, Eve would not be good at fishing.
Mike: Honest Abe had a long string of political losses. But did he ever give up? No he did not. He did get shot, however.
Kyle: Oh, great. I guess I don’t need to see that movie now.