Someone in the family is getting a long-awaited, much-anticipated smooch. Pucker up!
Claire discovers that Alex has been receiving flirty text messages from someone named Jeremy. Now, Jeremy is either a kid in her class or some random drifter. We're just wondering if texting drifters are more vulnerable to roaming charges.
As it turns out, Jeremy is a boy from school and Alex really likes him. After a chat with Haley, Alex beelines over to Jeremy's house to express her desire to kiss him. Unfortunately, all of Jeremy's soccer teammates are camped out behind his front door. They hear the entire speech forcing a humiliated Alex to beeline back home.
Gloria believes her grandmother has been visiting her in her dreams. She also believes that the dead are all around us, which thoroughly freaks out Manny. Since Gloria is missing her grandmother, Jay wants to print out an old picture of her. He reluctantly calls computer whiz Phil for some help setting up his new printer.
The installation stalls and Phil must access the router in the attic. All his thumping around leads Manny and Luke to believe the ghost of Gloria's grandmother has returned. The boys are scared silly when grandma's picture spews forth from the new printer. Looks like Phil got it working. Too bad he'll never know since a horror-struck Luke trashed the picture.
Cameron is troubled because Mitchell has a problem with public displays of affection. He says, "I remember once at a New Year's Eve party, stroke of midnight, he high-fived me. Two problems with that: 1. Gays don't high-five. 2. Gays don't high-five." Cameron gets even more upset when Mitchell backs away from an incoming kiss in front of the entire family causing Cam to do a nifty, unplanned backflip over the sofa.
Gloria believes Mitchell gets his aversion to affection from his father. Claire agrees that her dad is closed-off emotionally. Jay is criticized more after giving a nonchalant "thanks" to Phil, who triumphantly announces that he's fixed the printer after four hours of frustrating labor. Gloria says, "This is what we're talking about. This guy's been working like an imbecile all day for you. People need something else. Kisses... hugs... "
Jay gets pretty darn defensive. He says the only time his dad ever kissed him was when he mistakenly thought he was his sister. This leads Gloria to ask, "When was the last time you kissed Mitch?" It was back when he was 12. Gloria says, "Jay, kiss your son. He's a mess." So, Jay reluctantly leans in and gives Mitchell a nice little peck. Phil thinks he's next. He's not. But Claire does get a nice, warm hug from dad.
Things start looking up for Alex when she finds Jeremy waiting for her in the driveway. He says he would have kissed her if all of his friends weren't watching. Now that they're alone, Alex suggests they put the lip-lock on hold until they hang out a little more. After all, this is only the second conversation they've had that wasn't by text. Some kisses are worth the wait.
Clash of Swords