S5 E08 ClosetCon '13

11/20/13 | TV-PG | CC

STORY 1: Phil's Apollo 13 Mission
While Jay is attending ClosetCon '13, Phil is finally able to make his way into his father-in-law's secret room that is usually locked. Inside, Phil finds Jay's collection of remote-control planes and models, including a replica of Apollo 13. Phil accidentally breaks the model, so he enlists the help of Luke, Manny and Frank Dunphy (guest star Fred Willard) to go on a daring mission to rebuild the spacecraft. Meanwhile, Haley and Alex get their hair tangled together in the propeller of one of Jay's R/C planes, so they're forced to put up with one another.

Memorable Quotes:

Gloria: "Did you make the reservation?"
Phil: "Yeah, 7 o'clock. Fun family time with this little Newsie and a steak dinner? Who says people at the closet convention get all the fun?"
Luke: "No one. No one says that."

Frank (evaluating the broken model via webcam): "Holy Moses, more like Apollo 13-hundred pieces!" [Silence.] "Oof, in space, I guess no one can hear you be hilarious."

Gloria (trying to untangle Haley and Alex from one another): "This is really in there good."
Alex: "Just get her off of me. I'm getting dumber through osmosis!"
Haley: "I don't have osmosis!"


STORY 2: A Visit to the Tucker Farm
Mitchell and Lily visit the Tucker family farm in Missouri for the very first time, and Cam is frustrated with Mitchell who has trouble embracing country life. Cam's grandmother, Grams, on the other hand has trouble embracing same-sex couples, so Cam tries to keep his engagement and relationship with Mitchell a secret from her.

Memorable Quotes:

"You guys wanna walk down to the duck pond?"
Barb Tucker: "Sounds lovely. I'll get the gun."

Lily: "Are y'all coming?"
Mitchell: "Y'all?!? We don't say 'y'all.'"
Cameron: "Yes, we do."
Mitchell: "No, well, we say it here, but not normally."
Cameron: "Well, did you ever think this is how I really talk and that I talk different-like when I'm not here?"
Lily: "Y'all fightin'?

Cameron (on revealing his engagement to Grams): "After the initial shock, Grams softened a bit. She even agreed to attend the wedding."
Mitchell: "Standing outside with a sign."


STORY 3: Skeletons in the Closet
While attending ClosetCon '13 -- the premier North American trade show for the closet industry -- Claire begins to suspect that Jay is having an affair with his former colleague, Rita.

Memorable Quotes:

"ClosetCon is the premier North American trade show for the closet industry. I stopped going years ago, 'cause it's a trade show for the closet industry."

Claire: "This schedule is incredible, dad! There's a 10:45 session on sustainable materials. We've got to hit that! Hmmm, but it overlaps with the 11am panel on paneling."

Claire: "The lecture got done a little early, and I was kind of the star of the evening. I got a huge laugh when I coined the phrase "shelf esteem."

Rita: "Your dad and I go way back. First time we met, I told him he needed a course in hanger management."

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