If you like ridiculous gestures, people talking over each other in service of tearing each other down, or you're just a fan of good ol' fashioned yelling, then the The Bachelorette 2018's "The Men Tell All" episode is right up your alley. Bachelorette Becca Kufrin and the rest of the gang took a short break from Becca's journey to find love to get together in one room to recap the season, rip off some scabs and make a few new ones as they dug into why exactly they didn't always get along. There were mea culpas, lots of F-bombs, bloopers, a choir, and of course, there was plenty of Jordan. You can watch The Bachelorette season 14, The Men Tell All right here on ABC.com or in the ABC app, or read on for highlights and to find out who went home on The Bachelorette!
Before we go any further, we want to serve up the Bachelorette 2018 Bloopers, because everyone loves to watch people get hit in the head with stuff and we're generous like that:
Everyone lived, so we can all laugh and still maintain our sense of goodwill toward bachelorkind. Now, on with the show!
It Turns Out These Guys Didn't Always Behave Like Gentlemen
The first bachelor in the crosshairs was Chris, who everyone believed acted like a jerk on the show. Plot twist: Chris agreed. "The wheels fell off," he replied when Chris Harrison asked what happened during the emotional rollercoaster that led to him being sent home. Jean Blanc didn't have quite the same epiphany regarding his infamous proclamation of falling for Becca, which was almost immediately followed by him taking it back after she explained she wasn't there yet. When Colton mentioned that Jean Blanc's behavior cast a shadow over all the guys' sincerity in Becca's eyes, JB got personal, and made a crack about Colton's virginity that was anatomic and uncalled for. (More on that later.)
But let's be honest, folks...we know why you're here: You want more Jordan. And the Men Tell All certainly was more than happy to oblige.
Jordan on Jordan, and Everyone Else on Jordan
First, here's a recap of Jordan's time on The Bachelorette, which includes many of his greatest hits:
His unpopularity in the house was well documented, and when Chris Harrison broached the subject Jordan was immediately swarmed by the group and put on the defensive. As Jordan's nemesis during the show, David didn't miss his chance to get in some digs at Jordan, though Jordan continued his valiant defense throughout.
Their encounter basically went exactly how you might have expected. The surprising part is that as the exchange continued, the guys steered the conversation toward criticizing David more than Jordan, saying that he spent all his time on the show going after Jordan rather than trying to date Becca. Jason even called David a bully.
When Christian brought it back to Jordan, Jordan challenged him to a "model-off," which ended with a laughing Chris Harrison giving Jordan the final words on the matter, which were largely of the four-letter variety, shotgunned across all of Jordan's enemies:
Do note, however, that Jordan ended his tirade with a "What's up?" to Grocery Joe, so, you know...a pensive gentleman, indeed. In summary, here are our favorite Jordan moments from the episode:
The Hot Seat, or: There Were Other Guys on the Show, Too
It wasn't just the Jordan Show, of course. Even though he was eliminated on Night One, Chris Harrison said Grocery Joe "caused such upheaval amongst Bachelor Nation," and gave him a turn in the Hot Seat. After a 20-second recap that encompassed all of his screen time, Chris wanted to know more:
On the other end of the spectrum, it was clear that Wills was still rattled by his breakup with Becca, fighting back tears but vowing to move on.
Colton had earlier faced a bit of guff from the guys regarding his brief relationship with Tia before coming on the show, but he made it clear that was old news and settled law in the Court of Bachelor Nation, which is a thing we just made up. Colton wished he'd had more time with Becca, but some of the most emotional parts of his time in the Hot Seat came while discussing his now-famous virginity. It's still hard for him to talk about, and things like Jean Blanc using it to attack his manhood was exactly the kind of thing that hit Colton where it hurt:
In what counts as not-at-all-surprising development at this point in the show, Jason also took the Hot Seat to express his heartbroken-ness over Becca. (Turns out this Becca gal is pretty popular.) Chris did have one burning question for Jason: Becca repeatedly called you the best kisser on the show, so what's your secret? Jason didn't want to reveal the tricks of his trade, and we are grateful to him for more or less avoiding the question and not getting into what would likely be a pretty gross discussion, but he did have one thing to say about the merits of being a good kisser:
Becca and the Boys
Once Becca finally came out, she was typically gracious and complimentary of the men, and gracefully answered questions from her jilted suitors, giving some of them the closure they needed to move on. Some of them felt the need to apologize to her—among them Jean Blanc, who gave her a bottle of his new fragrance over a soundtrack of the rest of the guys chuckling and groaning. Chris had the grand finale for his apology, and it was worth it. He seemed genuine as he explained that his behavior was unconscionable and disrespectful, but the cherry on top was the musical accompaniment of the choir from Night One:
And that wraps up another entertaining episode of the Jordan Show—er, The Bachelorette. Next week we'll watch with bated breath as Becca makes her final decision to spend the rest of her life with one of the remaining two men. Will it be Blake or Garrett? Give us your guess below so that when you're right you can brag to all your friends about how you called it and you're so much smarter than they are, at least when it comes to Becca's love life.
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