S1 E02 Journey to the Center of the Mall

20:57 | 10/03/12 | TV-PG | CC

The Zabvronians are here to stay! That’s great, as long as you’re not afraid they’re going to eat your children, like Debbie kinda is. (She has nightmares.) Her new plan then, is to stay involved with the Zabvronians and keep them close. Dick Butkus and Reggie Jackson want to go to human school, so Debbie takes the opportunity to help socialize them -- with a trip to the mall.

Memorable Quotes:

Mary Lou Retton: You’re a shining example for women of all species!
Debbie: I’m just trying not to get a fat ass.

Marty: Did you see the movie Transformers? And if you did, do you think it’s realistic? Because I think that Michael Bay really knows something, I do.
Jackie (whispering to Larry): How does he know about Michael Bay?

Debbie: What about you, Amber? Are you excited for school?
Amber: Yes, mother.
Debbie: Are you being sarcastic?
Amber: Yes, mother.

Debbie: The better they know us the harder it will be for them to eat us. Remember that Thanksgiving when we had the live turkey? Remember how hard it was to eat Mr. Cluckles?
Marty: Yeah, but we still ate him.
Debbie: Yes, but it was hard.

Larry (to Dominique Wilkins, before the mall outing) Should anything happen to me, you are in charge. Please don’t look so excited, nothing’s going to happen to me.


The mall is equal parts enthralling and frightening to the Zabvronians. Larry and Marty bond over fatherhood, and how overwhelming it can be sometimes. Dick and Abby bond too, which even helps Abby and Max have a moment. And Reggie is definitely infatuated with Amber, who’s worried about how pretty she is. Debbie comes clean to Jackie about her fears. It’s all very touching. Oh also, Larry tries on a jacket. But he un-tries on the rest of his clothes in the process.

Memorable Quotes:

Amber: I’m bored. (puts a hand out) Money.
Marty: All right, but listen to me -- you meet us back here in one hour, and no more than id="mce_marker"00.
Amber: Lame. Make more money.
Marty: Get a job.

Marty (re: Amber and Debbie shopping together): It takes two days to recover when they shop together. There’s a lot of yelling, then there’s a lot of crying. And then it goes quiet. But it’s a bad quiet. It’s a scary kind of quiet.

Amber (sorting through clothes on the rack): Makes me look fat…makes me look stupid…makes me look like a hooker. OK, this one’s a maybe.

Amber: Do you think that I’m pretty-pretty, like a “9” pretty, or pretty on the inside, like the fat Kardashian?
Reggie: I think that you, Amber Weaver, are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever --
Amber: OK Reggie, I’m going to need a number.

Debbie: Kid’s meals are not made from kids. I mean, no one knows what they’re made from -- but it’s not kids.

Debbie: Mothers don’t sleep. They just worry with their eyes closed.

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