S1 E04 Bathroom Etiquette

21:24 | 10/17/12 | TV-PG | CC

Dick and Reggie are headed to human school. Debbie and Marty are pretty sure Dick is going to be bullied. Larry and Jackie are getting fed up with the Weavers’ judgments, but they bite their tongues. But it’s Max who is beat up on Day One. By Dick.

After a meeting of kids and parents in the principal’s office, the Max vs. Dick slugfest is sorted out, though it’s clear tension remain between the Weavers and Zabvronians. (Larry repeatedly calling Dick “the victor” doesn’t help.) That is until Dick finds Max getting bullied in the bathroom. Dick loses his cool and shows his true little green form, which lands them in the principal’s office again. The bullies are too scared to say much, and no one believes their story anyway. Would you?

Amber’s concerned about being popular, but Reggie helps her out by accusing her of breaking his heart by cheating on him with a “major American celebrity,” who he reveals to be Alan Alda. It still works, and Amber takes off with Hot Guy.

The Weaver and Zabvronians make up and decide to help each other when they can, and leave the parenting judgments out.

Memorable Quotes:

Debbie: How the hell did you eat half a carton of ice cream on the drive home?
Marty: There’s a spoon on my keychain.
Debbie: Marty.
Marty: OK, there’s no spoon. I used a picture of the kids and I scooped it out while you were getting gas. I’ll get help. Please don’t leave me.

Marty: We have three kids. If two of them make it home alive at the end of the day we’re happy.

Larry: We grow gardens in the rooms next to our sleep chamber. You keep a sewer there. Yes, I guess we are the crazy ones.

Dick (seeing the school): Whoa! Fabulous! Just fabulous! (to a passing student) Greetings, new friend. I look forward to quenching our thirst for knowledge together.

(Jackie opens the door to find the Weavers with a gift of contrition)
Debbie: It’s an orchid.
Marty: We thought it would look nice in your crapper.
Jackie: Marty and Debbie Weaver brought us an orchid.
Larry: Oh, it’ll look very pretty in our crapper.

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