S1 E05 Halloween-ween

21:34 | 10/24/12 | TV-PG | CC

The Weavers love Halloween! They start by scouting good locations because they're excited for their kids to trick-or-treat somewhere other than their old apartment building with "hallways that smell like soup." The Zabvronians, however, think they're being invaded every final day of October, their community gate keeping the monsters at bay. This year they've got trained archers with flaming arrows.

The Weavers show them the ropes, but Larry resists because he likes protecting his people from the threat. Amber resists her normal punny, topical costume -- this year she's sexing it up. At school, Max and Abby learn kids their age are branching out on their own and want to do the same. They just don't need their parents as much as they used to. Marty and Debbie? Not fans of all this.

Memorable Quotes:

Debbie: It's called Halloween. Kids dress up in scary costumes and go door-to-door asking strangers for candy.
Jackie (laughing; to Larry): I think the Weavers are having a little fun with us, Dear.
Marty: No, we call the whole thing trick-or-treating; that's what the kids do on Halloween. You follow?
Larry: Oh yes, Marty. I was lost there for a bit, but "trick-or-treating" really clears it up.

Larry: So, if I'm to believe this…Hallofeen?
Debbie: Halloween. Ween.
Larry: Halloween-ween.
Debbie: No no no, just one ween.
(Marty starts laughing)
Debbie (at Marty): Really? Really?

Amber: Is knocking too hard for you? Is it too hard to make a fist and bang it against a door? LEARN TO KNOCK.

(Amber leaves after detailing racy revisions to her costume)
Debbie: Oh god. Oh god.
Marty: This is not happening. You tell me that this is not happening.
Debbie: I think she finally outgrew punny, topical Halloween costumes, Marty. I think our baby's gone slutty.

Jackie has the Weavers train the Zabvronians on Halloween, but Larry fans the flames of fear to maintain his position as protector. The hordes of trick-or-treaters arrive at the community. Their enthusiasm freaks out the Zabvronians, who all hide in Larry and Debbie's home. But Jackie tells her loving husband that their people want a leader, so he relents and shows them how to hand out candy to kids.

Max is off with his classmates, Abby's walking up to door by herself -- and Marty and Debbie feel their kids pulling away. But soon, Max returns because he's afraid a girl wants to be his girlfriend, Abby needs her parents to store more candy, and Amber bails on sexy Halloween because she's got "more self-respect than the average 16-year-old."

Also, Dick dresses up as Debbie because she said to dress as someone he admires. He carries a Marty doll and provides dialogue for them both. Neither appreciates it.

Memorable Quotes:

Amber (reeling from Reggie's sexy nurse costume): You know what, it's fine. We can go as sexy nurse and Asian…transgender…something. It's still a thing.

Larry: Dick Butkus is trick-or-treating?
Debbie: Yes, tonight our little Dick turns tricks for the Weavers.

Larry: Can't this wait? I'd hate to mss another round of mea culpas.

Amber: We bailed on the fro-yo pre-party because there were like 85 slutty nurses there.
Reggie: But only one exotic lady-boy.
Amber: Again, that was not a compliment.

Dick (in Debbie voice): Wait! I just wanted to say I love you kids very, very much.
Dick (in Marty puppet voice): What your mother said. I have no opinions of my own.
Debbie: You know what Dick? The puppet goes after tonight.

Continue Reading