S2 E09 Thanksgiving Is No Schmuck Bait

20:42 | 11/22/13 | TV-PG | CC

Larry’s dad shows up to Thanksgiving six hours early and without Larry’s mom, because they’re getting divorced after more than 40 years. The news throws Marty for a loop, who starts reverting to childish behavior in between acting like nothing’s changed and they’re not breaking up. Reggie has a hard time coping as well, because he can’t figure out how humans can just end relationships.

Larry and Jackie watched a marathon of Nick at Nite reruns and fell in love with the sitcom formula, so now they’ve recruited the rest of the Zabvronians to follow them around as their studio audience, to provide laugh tracks and “Ooooohs” when appropriate. And once the family drama kicks in, they’ve got plenty of meta commentary to provide on the day’s happenings as well -- all of which are shockingly accurate.

Memorable Quotes:

Debbie: All right, so all I need to do is shove the chicken in the duck, the duck in the turkey, and voila -- Thanksgiving turducken.
Marty: That’s an alarming amount of animals to stick inside each other. Can you put it all in a pig?

Marty: Dad, hate is the glue that kept your marriage together.

Marty: My mother is a damaged person who needs someone to scream at. My father needs a damaged person around so he can feel superior. Believe me, there’s no way this break-up will last.
Larry: True. If there’s one thing we learned from our holiday episode research it’s that things always go back to normal at the end of the holiday.
Jackie: Yes, they try to trick you into thinking they won’t, but they don’t want to change the premise of the show.

Teresa: Hit the spa this week. I’m bronzed and hair-extended, and waxed in places I had no idea people waxed.
Debbie: Well now we have that information.

Teresa: I’ve lost a lot of weight. (nodding to Dominic) Two-hundred and ten pounds of soul-sucking fat, to be exact.

Dominic: Jackie’s mom is toxic? (nodding to Teresa) This one over here’s Three-Mile Island in sensible shoes.

Jackie: Mommy, did you hear I got a job?
Jackie’s Mom: No, I can’t hear anything over Larry’s deafening sense of entitlement.

Reggie: You know the sign in history class that says, “Work sets you free?” It’s about us.
Amber: It’s actually a holocaust diorama, but I hear you.

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